Wednesday, June 4, 2008

werkin ma nerves


I've been in the process of registering at UL for what is actually five months but has felt more like a year. They've given me the typical run-around, but at this point in the game, it would appear that all I've to do is go to class. I'm nervous because I want to finish with my teacher certification program by spring of '09 and don't know if that's feasible. My ultimate goal is not expressly to emerge a certified educator, itching to get into the schools and enlighten youngish minds. It's more like: Holy crap, I've got to get the hell out of Lafayette!
I've been feeling the wanderlust agitating my heels and I'm thinking the best time to hit the road would be after being uprooted and before any new shoots start to sprout . . . which would be now.
I've been thinking a lot about this new agey grad school in Iowa (In fact, I've been toying with the idea of applying today while I have time off. I can always change my mind, right?) which has been calling me for a couple of months. In fact, as soon as I started enrolling at UL, I found out about the place, started researching and thought that it sounded a lot cooler than UL on its best day. But then, I've never been to either University, so there's no way to know for sure. But, being that I am a gambling woman, I'd be willing to bet that my assumption is not totally untrue.
I do have my qualms. First and foremost: IOWA? Who the hell gives halfa crap about Iowa? Never have I wondered what life might be like in the state of Iowa. Never has it struck my fancy or curiosity. And the prospect of a vacation has never found me desiring to go out (mid)west. It's often conjured images of sprawling fields of wheat; uninteresting, sheltered white folks; and bland food. But that's me being judgmental. I'm planning a visit sometime in the near future and who knows? Iowa just may knock my socks off.
My second qualm would be: this place just might be a cult. When I actually do get to visit and they ask me to change clothes/name/hairstyle, I'll know.
Meanwhile . . . summer school starts next Monday. I scheduled my classes for the fall today and I'm having my transcripts sent to the Financial Aid office so that I might at least be able to take out loans for the fall. God, what a prospect . . . more debt!

I guess the bottom line is: worry is absolutely futile. Everything has sort of worked itself out in my life up until this point. I don't know why I cannot let go, and trust that they'll continue to work themselves out (as long as I am being proactive, that is). Things may not always resolve themselves the way I'd like, or the way I'd imagined they would, but they always seem to turn out for the best.

2 comments:

Fermi said...

I applied to grad school at Iowa State. I didn't visit because I got in everywhere and IS wasn't the top of my list. But I heard from kids that did visit that all of the grad students in the department I applied to there were horribly depressed maybe because there was nothing to do.

The weirdest thing about the Midwest is how the people look. They have little torsos and HUGE Hips and Thighs. EVERYONE DOES. As if there is only one gene in the pool.

Tino said...

Here's something you've already read that applies beautifully to your post:

"The great arises out of small things that are honored and cared for. Everybody's life really consists of small things. Greatness is a mental abstraction and a favorite fantasy of the ego. The paradox is that the foundation for greatness is honoring the small things of the present moment instead of pursuing the idea of greatness."
"What the world doesn't tell you is that you cannot become successful--you can only be successful."
"There is only this one step, and so you give it your full attention. This doesn't mean you don't know where you're going; it just means this step is primary, the destination secondary. And what you encounter at your destination once you get there depends on the quality of this one step. Another way of putting it: What the future holds for you depends on your state of consciousness now."