Thursday, June 26, 2008

warp speed. engage.

Lard, you miss a week's time of group bloggy and your ass is left in the absolute dust!
Just know I have been completely and somewhat unpleasantly busy going to summer school and twerking at the Noble. I am starting my teacher certification program and already I have destroyed (in a good, passing kind of a way) two exams. I've also been working on finishing my grad school application mini-essays. The mini-essay that has been giving me the biggest run for my money is the one about what I want to research once I am there . . . I'm totally at a loss. I've never -- even for a little bit -- considered what I might want to write a thesis about. But, I am thinking about it now, and I've come to accept that the answer to this question is simply not going to come to me as easily as some of the other ones. The most frustrating part about this application process is that I have allowed doubt and questioning to color how I feel about writing in general, and my writing in particular. I always kind of assumed that something would come of my writing, but now I'm not sure if I've got the proverbial chops for it. Though something in me thinks that it'll take many years to determine if that's true or not.
Writing woes aside, I want to go to grad school. I want to be gone from Lafayette and I want, whenever the time comes for me to leave, to be headed to Iowa. And I have every intention of manifesting this experience in my life. It's not long at all until I head on over to visit. Fermi, I saw on your map that you've visited Iowa and I remember you telling me a little bit about what you thought. I'd like to hear more, if you'd be willing to share.

On a side note . . . there's this boy in one of my classes this summer. I think he is cute and interesting, though a little over-zealous at times. He's engaging and exotic and suggests the possession of a sense of humor. He used to sit behind me diagonally, but switched seats to "experience the class from a different perspective." He incidentally landed himself next to me, a few aisles over. We even talked and walked together for a little while after class today and he let me use his cell phone. Like a dunce, I didn't formally introduce myself. Like a fool, he forgot to do the same. I get the impression that he may want to spit that holla juice, but am prone to doubting myself with such affairs. Sometimes flirting with flirtations is more fun than relationships of actual substance. Flirtations never disappoint and impale like actual involvements can and do. I still can't help but wonder if either one of us will ever grow a pair before summer ends and plan a rendez vous for coffee?

1 comment:

Fermi said...

Flirtations never disappoint and impale like actual involvements can and do.

And flirtations rarely lead to as much growth and self-actualization as actual involvements.

It is time to jump in.