Wednesday, April 30, 2008

hot child in the city

Decisions, decisions, are what I make. This particular one is living on-campus vs. living off campus. I got my room assignment today and it was not the precise residence hall I wanted but it is the cheaper one. Coincidentally, I also made contact with my lead on off-campus housing and got more info on that situation. So what I'm going to do is make pros and cons about living on and off campus. And then maybe you guys can help me make up my mind?

On Campus
  • one bill, once a semester, no hassles or check to write or using too much power to worry about
  • ON campus: proximity to dining halls, classes, workout facilities, library
  • no roommate worries (single room)
  • fully furnished
  • safe, on-campus community, cops, etc
  • lots of other (grad) students around -- chance to make new friends
  • predictable
  • bathroom facilities cleaned by professionals (ie, not me)
  • dining hall facilities ranked #2 in country
  • little reason to leave campus/drive (low fuel costs)
  • contract lasts for the duration of the academic year
  • community bathroom at age 24; shower shoes, basket of shower poof and shampoo, etc. I thought I was done with that BS.
  • dining contract is required and EXPENSIVE, I like cooking and I love grocery shopping (but would I really have time for these things?)
  • could be noisy even though it's an honors undergrad/grad student building
  • slightly more expensive
Off Campus
  • some separation from "student life"
  • immediately know someone (could be good or bad)
  • roommate has a cat and dog
  • neighborhood life is probably quieter than dorm life
  • kitchen, bathroom, bedroom: actual rooms dedicated to each function.
  • room is furnished
  • paying bills each month is lame
  • utilities will vary and maybe not in proportion to my use
  • probably colder in the winter than the 3rd floor of a dorm that is heated for a bunch of peeps
  • could be harder to meet people
  • commute to class
  • scared enough already about doing anything in snow
  • I tend to study more in libraries and study rooms, which are more available on campus
  • roommate could suck
  • might not be able to only rent for 10 months, she is looking for a year lease.
So guys, let me know what you think.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Goal 1: Relaxation

Sybil Vane is a new contributor at Bitch PhD. Bitch was smart to add her. Sybil is very good and young which I like. Her most recent post is about collectives and feminism and the lack of identification with the feminist movement. I spent the majority of my morning so far reading the comments to the post and visiting the commenter's blogs. I happened upon some blogs by women science professors. Those blogs linked to other blogs by women in science. I really tried to explore the blogs but found them VERY uninteresting. I know I am making the right choice to NOT go into academia.

Now I am inclined to re-evaluate my life strategy at 3 different stages of my life:
(1) Before Oral Exam: Run away from everything unpleasant.
(2) Oral Exam/G-skoo in general: Jump though the hoops and face the problems: act like a tiger.
(3) After passing all qualifiers: Run away! Run away!

Once I accomplish Goal 1: Relaxation, my next major goal will be to meet with my boss and discuss my path to graduation. This will be a 2 to 3 year path but I want to have it mapped out specifically so that I can see my progress. Meeting with my boss is something that will stress me out so I will probably meet with Red-Haired-Ashely for some advice on how to do this. She is at the end of her 4th year and has recently established a wonderful working relationship with her boss via very productive meetings about progress. *vomit* My excellent grip on reality makes it very clear that my boss (in his present and probably eternal state of being) is unable to have wonderful relationships of any sort. This being said, I hope that meeting with my boss will ensure prompt graduation, although my hopes do not extend to the development of any sort of relationship.

Onto Goal 1: Relaxation. This is hard for me, but clearly a necessity. To accomplish Relaxation, heh, I plan to blog, (check), lay out by the pool, (to which Jips said: That doesn't sound like Fermi!), and hang out with dogs.

I hung out with dogs a bit this morning. They are in the usual spring shedding process. I was scratching the rump of Dog 2, and hairs flew out into the air. It was so visible in the sunlight I was reminded of the Peanuts character who always had a cloud of dust around him. Was it Linus? I sat on the floor to pet the dogs because Dog 1 is having inflamed back disks again. The vet said we might have to have surgery if it happens again in 3 months, because Dog 1 is so young (5 yrs) and this has already happened twice. So Dog 1 is on steroids which cause him to pee and poop in the house even more than usual. And Dog 2 has been vomiting and farting TONS and TONS so our living/dining/kitchen room now is 90% urine smelling and 10% Dog 2 specialty-fart smelling. I sat on the floor because Dog 1 is not supposed to jump on the furniture with his back being bad, but he still does as often as he likes.

All of this: the dog hair, urine, and farting, compels me to clean the house. But that is in direct opposition to Goal 1: Relaxation. Fuck.

The same guy on the plane (mentioned in the last post) said to me: "You're Type A, aren't you?" I said, "I can see how I could be perceived in that way." While in my mind I thought: Who the hell are you to say I am Type A, you don't even know me, or anything about me! So I told my therapist about the previous conversation and she laughed and said I was Type A Plus. Extreme Type A. Both the therapist's confirmation and the plane guy got me thinking about how my graduate program is essentially a cult of Type A personality. There is a great deal of value-judgment based on how much and how hard you work. There are non-type A's, but these people (example: Chip) focus almost all of their energy on trying to appear to be working all of the time. The sad thing is that I felt the best about myself when I was prepping for my oral exam and at work all of the time. I really felt superior then. Which is fucked up because people who work all the time are not superior, they are just work-a-holics. And why do I care about being superior anyway? I just need to focus on being me.

It is scary how easily I can revert back to my factory settings. I was raised with the question: What did you DO today? which implied that the more accomplished = a better day. I went to alot of therapy in High School to change my focus to balance and peace. And now, I find myself in the position where I am surrounded by a small group of people whose default settings are like my own. And it was SO EASY to slip back into them. It is scary how easy it was.

This week I found myself in tears, because I lost who I was, and I lost who Jips and I were together. I was only my work. I am ready to be a stay-at-home mom TODAY. maybe that thought is inspiring my Goal 2: Meet with my Boss to insure a prompt graduation.

So the path back to Fermi starts through Goal 1: Relaxation. Even if I have to drag myself kicking and screaming to get there.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

endearing when you're young

Traveling back home, my mom and I sat next to a stranger on the plane.
He asked me: "What motivates you? What drives you? What causes you to get up in the morning and go to work?"

I didn't know. I still don't know.

I am still burnt out from my Oral Exam. I go to work and fiddle around the lab. I am even fixing our water purification system, but my heart isn't in it. At the end of the day I cannot wait to leave. I daydream about reading philosophy and history and behavioral psychology. I daydream about blogging.

I have been thinking about intimacy lately. Novella mentioned that singing is intimate. I started to explore in my mind other intimate but non-sexual things. When I used to babysit I was always amazed at how ready for intimacy the kids are. They would just curl up in my lap ready for a story to be read to them. So lap-sitting and story-reading can be intimate things, although I can imagine situations where they are not so intimate.

So what does it take for something to be intimate? Is it any less intimate when a rock star sings than when I sing? I think so. The rock star has already whored himself out to the world. Maybe doing something for money removes the intimate element.

Looking at someones music collection can be intimate. It can show you pieces of the person that you did not know existed. Maybe intimacy is about knowing and allowing yourself to be known without any ulterior motives. Is intimacy about feeling?

And finally, some nice quotes:

Being a fuck-up with a good heart is endearing when you're young; if you've not changed by the time you hit your late twenties, well, you're probably just pretty much a fuck-up, and eventually, you become annoying.
-Mark Richardson in a review of The Replacements

Sure, religion saves lives. So does tobacco -- ask those GIs for whom tobacco was an even greater comfort than religion during World War II, the Korean War, and Vietnam.
-Daniel C. Dennett in Breaking the Spell

Sunday, April 20, 2008

The Last Mo-Hee-Can

#95 Rugby: No. The stripes on the shirt are fattening.
#94 Free Healthcare: No. But there has got to be a better answer than our current insurance company situation.
#93 Music Piracy: Hells Yes. That is the NOW answer. When I had an expendable income (high school) all I did was buy CDs. Now though, I lack the expendable income. (1)
#92 Book Deals: While book deals seem that they would be better than drug deals, I would probably relate more to the drug dealers. Answer: No.
#91 San Francisco: is beautiful. All of it. (2)
#90 Dinner Parties: I've only been to one, at Evil Will's house (huckleberry hound to you, Peach Bone) umm so no. I would rather not have food-centered events in my life.
#89 St. Patrick’s Day: Lame Excuse to Drink.
#88 Having Gay Friends: indifferent.
#87 Outdoor Performance Clothes: hehe. I laugh about this every time I see someone wearing a mountain hard ware jacket with the little bolt on it. I don't wear them.
#86 Shorts: Yes. My whole Life I have been into shorts. Although I have been into skirts lately. (3)
#85 The Wire: What? Should I know about this?
#84 T-Shirts: yes. hells yes. (4)
#83 Bad Memories of High School: hehe. you know it. I am glad to see that Novella and I had equally bad memories of High School. (5)

5 + 12.5 = 17.5 / 95 = 18.42 % White

So... What does it all mean?... UPDATED

Since it's late and I'm bored and not in the mood for studying...

Zero points awarded (no one said yes):
Asian girls
Being an expert on YOUR culture
Wrigley field
The Wire

0.5 points
Threatening to move to Canada

1.0 point
Religions their parents don't belong to
Hating their parents
Writer's workshop
Having 2 last names
80s night
Knowing what's best for poor people
Mos Def
Being the only white person around
Oscar Parties
Book Deals

1.5 points
Film Festivals
Having black friends
Natural Medicine
Standing still at concerts

2 points
The Sunday New York Times
Michael Gondry
Bottles of Water
The idea of Soccer
Outdoor Performace Clothes

2.5 points
David Sedaris
Toyota Prius
Co-ed Sports
Musical Comedy
Free Healthcare

3 points
Organic food
Public Radio
Whole Foods and grocery Co-ops
Living by the Water
Kitchen Gadgets
Difficult Breakups
Study Abroad
St. Patrick's Day

3.5 points
Barack Obama
Not having a TV
Apple products
Having gay friends
San Francisco

4 points
Making you feel bad about not going outside
Non-profit organizations
Arts degree
Hating Corporations

4.5 points
Farmer's Market
The Daily Show/Colbert Report
Arrested Development
Sarah Silverman
Bad Memories of High School

5.0 points
Wes Anderson movies
Gifted children
Breakfast places
Asian fusion food
Expensive Sandwiches
Dinner Parties

5.5 points
Multilingual children
Modern furniture
Music Piracy

6.0 points
Indie music
Graduate School

6.5 points: none

7.0 points

**I have all of the points in a spreadsheet, if anyone wants to manipulate it in other ways, let me know and I'll email it to you.

So, what's it all mean? What surprises you?

Peer Pressure

Am I last? I didn't count them, but it seems that I'm last.

#95 Rugby: no experience with it. I hear they drink a lot though.
#94 Free Healthcare: Yes Yes Yes (1)
#93 Music Piracy: I buy music from poor artists and steal it from rich ones (1.5)
#92 Book Deals: I don’t anticipate ever writing a book
#91 San Francisco: Fun city. Nowhere to camp. (2.5)
#90 Dinner Parties: I love cooking for people. (3.5)
#89 St. Patrick’s Day: Love it (4.5)
#88 Having Gay Friends: I wish I had more.
#87 Outdoor Performance Clothes: I’m too poor
#86 Shorts: It’s very hot here, how can you avoid it? (5.5)
#85 The Wire: not my style
#84 T-Shirts: Ask Fermi and Jips about this one (6.5)
#83 Bad Memories of High School: Mostly good
#82 Hating Corporations: Hate is a strong word. I wish they didn’t exist. (7.5)
#81 Graduate School: does Medical School count? (8.5)
#80 The Idea of Soccer: too much running
#79 Modern Furniture: Love it. One day I’ll be able to afford it. (9.5)
#78 Multilingual Children: I hope so, but I won’t be the one to teach them (10)
#77 Musical Comedy: can live w/o it.
#76 Bottles of Water: Again, too poor
#75 Threatening to Move to Canada: No, but I do enjoy what little I’ve seen.
#74 Oscar Parties: I have been to one. I wouldn’t ever throw one (10.5)
#73 Gentrification: I see the possible harm, but I kinda love it. (11.5)
#72 Study Abroad: I wish.
#71 Being the only white person around: haven’t experienced it.
#70 Difficult Breakups: Are there easy ones? (12.5)
#69 Mos Def: never heard them
#68 Michel Gondry: never heard of him. Do I live under a rock?
#67 Standing Still at Concerts: NO WAY!!
#66 Divorce: Never
#65 Co-Ed Sports: I’ve been known to participate in a few (13)
#64 Recycling: love it (14)
#63 Expensive Sandwiches: If I had to pick one type of food to eat for the rest of my life, it would be sandwiches (15)
#62 Knowing What’s Best for Poor People: not me
#61 Bicycles: mmmhmmm (16)
#60 Toyota Prius: give it time
#59 Natural Medicine: has its goods and bads (16.5)
#58 Japan: I want to visit
#57 Juno: Haven't seen it, but I want to
#56 Lawyers: too many of them
#55 Apologies: I make them often, maybe not often enough sometimes (17.5)
#54 Kitchen Gadgets: LOVE LOVE LOVE them (18.5)
#53 Dogs: are the best (19.5)
#52 Sarah Silverman: funny for a girl (20)
#51 Living by the Water: I definitely will when I can afford it. (21)
#50 Irony: big fan (22)
#49 Vintage: eh
#48 Whole Foods and Grocery Co-ops: too expensive
#47 Arts Degrees: interest me, but not for me
#46 The Sunday New York Times: Maybe one day
#45 Asian Fusion Food: no thanks
#44 Public Radio: Nope
#43 Plays: sometimes (22.5)
#42 Sushi: Mmmmm sushi (23.5)
#41 Indie Music: getting into it a little more recently b/c of my boyfriend, I’m more of a jam bnad fan (24)
#40 Apple Products: love my iPod (25)
#39 Netflix: I don’t watch movies
#38 Arrested Development: hilarious (26)
#37 Renovations: I love fixed up old houses (27)
#36 Breakfast Places: yummy (28)
#35 The Daily Show/Colbert Report: the only way I hear news (29)
#34 Architecture: fascinating (30)
#33 Marijuana: cutting back, but still yes (31)
#32 Vegan/Vegetarianism: eww eww yuck; GO MEAT!!
#31 Snowboarding: I almost learned over spring break. . . next time (31.5)
#30 Wrigley Field: I don’t care too much about baseball
#29 80s Night: You couldn’t pay me to go.
#28 Not having a TV: if I had no roommates I definitely wouldn’t have cable (32)
#27 Marathons: I wish
#26 Manhattan (now Brooklyn too!): LOVE it (33)
#25 David Sedaris: I’ve been meaning to read some of his stuff (33.5)
#24 Wine: mmm mmm I do love wine. (34.5)
#23 Microbreweries: my favorite (35.5)
#22 Having Two Last Names: I’ll be changing mine.
#21 Writers Workshops: no thanks
#20 Being an expert on YOUR culture: what culture?
#19 Traveling: live for it (36.5)
#18 Awareness: I try (37)
#17 Hating their Parents: we have our moments, but mostly I love them.
#16 Gifted Children: "Was one, dating one, will probably have one". I like that answer (38)
#15 Yoga: love it. Need to do it more (38.5)
#14 Having Black Friends: not really, by coincidence only
#13 Tea: gross
#12 Non-Profit Organizations: big fan of Habitat for Humanity (39.5)
#11 Asian Girls: are very tiny
#10 Wes Anderson Movies: funny funny (40.5)
#9 Making you feel bad about not going outside: I hate myself sometimes (41.5)
#8 Barack Obama: He’s not perfect, but who is? I’ll be voting for him. (42.5)
#7 Diversity: may be pushed too hard.
#6 Organic Food: too poor
#5 Farmer’s Markets: love them (43.5)
#4 Assists: ???
#3 Film Festivals: I don’t watch movies
#2 Religions their parents don’t belong to: not a fan of religion in general
#1 Coffee: can’t make it through a class w/o it (44.5)

46.8%... well, it's less than half. I thought it would be much worse.

Saturday, April 19, 2008


#95 Rugby no
#94 Free Healthcare no
#93 Music Piracy i guess 1
#92 Book Deals no
#91 San Francisco never been there
#90 Dinner Parties yes 2
#89 St. Patrick’s Day not really
#88 Having Gay Friends I like them but never had one
#87 Outdoor Performance Clothes I have a northface 3
#86 Shorts no - legs too white
#85 The Wire idk
#84 T-Shirts sure 4
#83 Bad Memories of High School not really
#82 Hating Corporations no
#81 Graduate School i'm in it 5
#80 The Idea of Soccer not really
#79 Modern Furniture yes! 6
#78 Multilingual Children it's fine with me 7
#77 Musical Comedy too cheesy
#76 Bottles of Water yes 8
#75 Threatening to Move to Canada nope
#74 Oscar Parties not really
#73 Gentrification idk
#72 Study Abroad i was never interested
#71 Being the only white person around no
#70 Difficult Breakups unfortunately8
#69 Mos Def idk
#68 Michel Gondry idk
#67 Standing Still at Concerts yes (unless drunk then no) 8.5
#66 Divorce no
#65 Co-Ed Sports nah
#64 Recycling yes 9.5
#63 Expensive Sandwiches they make me feel fancy 10.5
#62 Knowing What’s Best for Poor People ??
#61 Bicycles sure 12.5
#60 Toyota Prius sure 13.5
#59 Natural Medicine not really
#58 Japan yeah 14.5
#57 Juno it was ok 15
#56 Lawyers sure 16
#55 Apologies no
#54 Kitchen Gadgets not really
#53 Dogs YES! 17
#52 Sarah Silverman sometimes 17.5
#51 Living by the Water not really
#50 Irony yea 18.5
#49 Vintage not really
#48 Whole Foods and Grocery Co-ops love whole foods 19.5
#47 Arts Degrees what are you going to do with that?
#46 The Sunday New York Times no
#45 Asian Fusion Food yeah 20.5
#44 Public Radio nah
#43 Plays yeah 21.5
#42 Sushi yes 22.5
#41 Indie Music sometimes 23
#40 Apple Products i can't help it 24
#39 Netflix got it 25
#38 Arrested Development HELL YEAH! 26
#37 Renovationsnah
#36 Breakfast Places nah
#35 The Daily Show/Colbert Report yes 27
#34 Architecture not really
#33 Marijuana not really
#32 Vegan/Vegetarianism can't do it
#31 Snowboarding never have
#30 Wrigley Field no
#29 80s Night no
#28 Not having a TV no
#27 Marathons one day... 28
#26 Manhattan (now Brooklyn too!) never been
#25 David Sedaris who?
#24 Wine not a fan
#23 Microbreweries this too
#22 Having Two Last Names no
#21 Writers Workshops no
#20 Being an expert on YOUR culture not really
#19 Traveling not really
#18 Awareness yes 29
#17 Hating their Parents yes 30
#16 Gifted Children everyone says that
#15 Yoga too boring
#14 Having Black Friends indiff
#13 Tea yes 31
#12 Non-Profit Organizations no
#11 Asian Girls no
#10 Wes Anderson Movies My favorite!! 32
#9 Making you feel bad about not going outside y 33
#8 Barack Obama not into politics
#7 Diversity indiff
#6 Organic Food I hope to when i have $ 34
#5 Farmer’s Markets too many bugs
#4 Assists no sports
#3 Film Festivals never been
#2 Religions their parents don’t belong to not into religion
#1 Coffee yes - but only to study 34.5

34.5/95 = 36% white. It should probably be higher though, because I really love some on the stuff on here.

I Win

#95 Rugby: Nah.
#94 Free Healthcare: I get a pretty good discount from my teacher benefits.
#93 Music Piracy: Oh yeah (1).
#92 Book Deals: I'd love to write one and have one. (2)
#91 San Francisco: Would love to go back. (3)
#90 Dinner Parties: Yes m'am. (4)
#89 St. Patrick’s Day: I hate parades.
#88 Having Gay Friends: Does a brother count? (5)
#87 Outdoor Performance Clothes: I like biking shorts for yoga. (6)
#86 Shorts: I like the long kind to the knee. (7)
#85 The Wire: ?
#84 T-Shirts: Yes. With jeans. (8)
#83 Bad Memories of High School: Some, yes. (9)
#82 Hating Corporations: I dislike chain restaurants and strip malls, mostly. (10)
#81 Graduate School: I've been. (11)
#80 The Idea of Soccer: No thanks. Boys who play soccer are historically cute, though.
#79 Modern Furniture: Love it. (12)
#78 Multilingual Children: Adorable AND impressive. (13)
#77 Musical Comedy: Flight of the Conchords is awesome. And Waiting for Guffman. (14)
#76 Bottles of Water: No.
#75 Threatening to Move to Canada: No, but my boyfriend is from there.
#74 Oscar Parties: Boo.
#73 Gentrification: Undecided about whether it's good for the residents.
#72 Study Abroad: Yes-went to Prague. (15)
#71 Being the only white person around: Haven't experienced this, which is odd.
#70 Difficult Breakups: Oh lord. (16)
#69 Mos Def: Yes, he's good. (17)
#68 Michel Gondry: Love his videos, loved Science of Sleep. (18)
#67 Standing Still at Concerts: I'm a bootie shaker.
#66 Divorce: Hope not.
#65 Co-Ed Sports: Yes, I like when the genders mix and get along. (19)
#64 Recycling: I recycle like it's going out of style. (20)
#63 Expensive Sandwiches: Absolutely. Anything with Avocado, sprouts, or fancy sauce. (21)

#62 Knowing What’s Best for Poor People: Ew. How ignorant.
#61 Bicycles: Double yes. (22)
#60 Toyota Prius: Leif has one and I ride in it a whole lot. (23)
#59 Natural Medicine: I like the idea of it--it's logical. (24)
#58 Japan: I wouldn't say I'm obsessed with it enough to earn a point, but I love sushi, sake, and Japanese decor.
#57 Juno: Haven't seen it yet.
#56 Lawyers: My dad is one, but for the Federal Government, not private business. I'm not into it , though.
#55 Apologies: These are important. But only if they're real and not because you can't stand the idea of people being mad at you. (25)

#54 Kitchen Gadgets: If they were free, I'd have them all. (26)
#53 Dogs: I like cats better, but I do get a kick out of other people's. (27)
#52 Sarah Silverman: Hilarious. (28)
#51 Living by the Water: I would if I could. (29)
#50 Irony: Sweet, sweet irony. (30)
#49 Vintage: It attracts me, but only clothing. And I hate antique furniture. (31)
#48 Whole Foods and Grocery Co-ops: Of course. Fresh food and prices you have to take up the ass. (32)
#47 Arts Degrees: Creative writing, baby. (33)
#46 The Sunday New York Times: Boring.
#45 Asian Fusion Food: Oh, particularly Thai. (34)

#44 Public Radio: Yes. (35)

#43 Plays: There are a lot of bad ones out there, but I love the idea of a good one. (36)
#42 Sushi: More than you know. (37)
#41 Indie Music: Love it. (38)
#40 Apple Products: Don't own any.
#39 Netflix: Just got it! (39)
#38 Arrested Development: I like the show AND the early '90s rap group. (40).
#37 Renovations: Too lazy.
#36 Breakfast Places: My favorite meal. (41)
#35 The Daily Show/Colbert Report: Naturally. (42)

#34 Architecture: Don't we need this? (43)
#33 Marijuana: (44)
#32 Vegan/Vegetarianism: I eat a lot of soy products because I actually like them (45).
#31 Snowboarding: Nope. I'm a ski girl.
#30 Wrigley Field: no thanks
#29 80s Night: You CANNOT shake your bootie to '80s music, unless it's Kool and the Gang, which it never is.
#28 Not having a TV: I have one, but it only has bunny ears.
#27 Marathons: Ouch.
#26 Manhattan (now Brooklyn too!): Anytime anything on TV is set in New York, I watch. (46)
#25 David Sedaris: My one true love. (47)

#24 Wine: Okay, my other one true love. (48)
#23 Microbreweries: The only beer worth having. (49)
#22 Having Two Last Names: Totally planning on it. (50)
#21 Writers Workshops: Going to one in June (51)
#20 Being an expert on YOUR culture: I don't pretend to understand the complexity that is American Whiteness.
#19 Traveling: Vital. (52)
#18 Awareness: Reading A New Earth as we speak, and it's changing my life. (53)
#17 Hating their Parents: Nope, I love mine.
#16 Gifted Children: Was one, dating one, will probably have one. (54)
#15 Yoga: Do it every week. (55)

#14 Having Black Friends: Embarrassed that I don't. Students and co-workers don't count.
#13 Tea: Oh yes. (56)
#12 Non-Profit Organizations: Danced in one. (57)
#11 Asian Girls: If I were gay.
#10 Wes Anderson Movies: Soon, soon, you're a balloon! (58)
#9 Making you feel bad about not going outside: I carry this guilt daily. (59)
#8 Barack Obama: Voting for him. (60)
#7 Diversity: We all need more of it. (61)
#6 Organic Food: Like the idea, dislike the price. (62)
#5 Farmer’s Markets: Yes. (63)
#4 Assists: ?
#3 Film Festivals: I'm not a huge movie person.
#2 Religions their parents don’t belong to: Haha. My parents aren't religious, but I did say poo to Catholicism.
#1 Coffee: My other one true love. (64)

I'm quite simply the whitest bitch out there. Except I do have rhythm.

Friday, April 18, 2008

my turn

so, my morning class got cancelled because my professor is sick...and that means that i have an hour where doing no econ work won't make me feel guilty! actually, i'll probably just start working after this, but what a nice way to waste some time this morning :)
#95 Rugby: not so much
#94 Free Healthcare: there are better ways
#93 Music Piracy: my excuse is that i'm a poor graduate student, but i probably could afford a cd now and then... (1)
#92 Book Deals: i can't no thank you
#91 San Francisco: never been, but would like to go someday (1.5)
#90 Dinner Parties: if i get to bake something! absolutely (2.5)
#89 St. Patrick’s Day: all i have to do is walk out of my front door and there's the parade!! and a whole day of drinking and being lazy....fantastic (3.5)
#88 Having Gay Friends: makes no difference to me, i like friends in general (4)
#87 Outdoor Performance Clothes: not my style
#86 Shorts: i'm a jean/dress girl
#85 The Wire: eh?
#84 T-Shirts: easiest way to get ready for class, yes please (5)
#83 Bad Memories of High School: yes definitely (there are good ones too though) (6)
#82 Hating Corporations: nah, corporations are good competition (7)
#81 Graduate School: in the process (8)
#80 The Idea of Soccer: the idea? it's ok i guess...
#79 Modern Furniture: i like the mix of new and old (9)
#78 Multilingual Children: if my fiance and i learn spanish like we plan to (10)
#77 Musical Comedy: guilty (11)
#76 Bottles of Water: we just got a filter!
#75 Threatening to Move to Canada: nope, just back to texas
#74 Oscar Parties: i'd never throw one, but i might go (11.5)
#73 Gentrification: depends (12)
#72 Study Abroad: i wish i had gone to italy (13)
#71 Being the only white person around: just because my fiance is mexican (and thus his entire family is too) (14)
#70 Difficult Breakups: been there, done that...not a fan
#69 Mos Def: don't really care
#68 Michel Gondry: who?
#67 Standing Still at Concerts: nope, i like to dance and sing
#66 Divorce: in certain situations, it should happen (15)
#65 Co-Ed Sports: i'm not very coordinated, ooh i can play tennis though, if that counts (16)
#64 Recycling: great in theory, but i can't say i do
#63 Expensive Sandwiches: i'll eat a turkey sandwich anywhere (17)
#62 Knowing What’s Best for Poor People: eventually i hope my research can change something (18)
#61 Bicycles: i want one! we don't have room at the moment (19)
#60 Toyota Prius: nope, i like my mazda
#59 Natural Medicine: nah, i'll stick with the other stuff
#58 Japan: no
#57 Juno: going to watch it tonight! (20)
#56 Lawyers: both of my parents..and my best friend (21)
#55 Apologies: if i did something wrong, sure (22)
#54 Kitchen Gadgets: yes LOVE them! (23)
#53 Dogs: yep, i miss mine (24)
#52 Sarah Silverman: yep, she cracks me up (25)
#51 Living by the Water: by the LSU lakes, but i don't know if they should count as water (25.5)
#50 Irony: take it or leave it
#49 Vintage: not my style
#48 Whole Foods and Grocery Co-ops: i don't shop there because i like spending a little money on groceries...not my whole month's paycheck
#47 Arts Degrees: i wish i was more artistic (26.5)
#46 The Sunday New York Times: "the new york times has 2 research ideas a week, A WEEK people!!" (27.5)
#45 Asian Fusion Food: i like almost all food (28.5)
#44 Public Radio: nah
#43 Plays: not so much
#42 Sushi: kona has the best sushi...and it's half price at happy hour mmmm (29.5)
#41 Indie Music: i love all music, except for country (30.5)
#40 Apple Products: i guess, i don't really care about apple, but i have an ipod (31)
#39 Netflix: no. i don't have time for that many movies
#38 Arrested Development: i'm not a fan. i'll stick to the original
#37 Renovations: i'm not good with my hands...i'm in fact, quite clumsy
#36 Breakfast Places: yes!! breakfast anytime of the day!!! (32)
#35 The Daily Show/Colbert Report: only if i'm at my parents house, not by choice
#34 Architecture: i can appreciate a pretty building (33)
#33 Marijuana: eh
#32 Vegan/Vegetarianism: no way...i like meat too much
#31 Snowboarding: back to the clumsy thing...
#30 Wrigley Field: indifferent
#29 80s Night: i love the 80s! (34)
#28 Not having a TV: um. no. i am a tv junkie when i can be (35)
#27 Marathons: i'm a short distance runner...i can't hang
#26 Manhattan: i'd like to visit (36)
#25 David Sedaris: again, i don't know who this is...
#24 Wine: yes, especially 3 for $10! (37)
#23 Microbreweries: yep (38)
#22 Having Two Last Names: nope, i'll have 2 middle names soon though
#21 Writers Workshops: not unless its dissertation writing
#20 Being an expert on YOUR culture: not an expert by any means...i can eat a ridiculous amount of crawfish though...
#19 Traveling: yes please!! (39)
#18 Awareness: uh, yeah... (40)
#17 Hating their Parents: no way, my parents are great
#16 Gifted Children: oh, our kids will be smart (41)
#15 Yoga: my new favorite way to de-stress (42)
#14 Having Black Friends: again, it doesn't matter to me (43)
#13 Tea: nah
#12 Non-Profit Organizations: of course (44)
#11 Asian Girls: i don't care...
#10 Wes Anderson Movies: surely (45)
#9 Making you feel bad about not going outside: nope, i'm lazy too
#8 Barack Obama: sure, i guess (45.5)
#7 Diversity: absolutely (46.5)
#6 Organic Food: i'm too poor
#5 Farmer’s Markets: i like fresh pickins (47)
#4 Assists: don't care
#3 Film Festivals: they have film festivals in br? (48)
#2 Religions their parents don’t belong to: i like my parents' religion
#1 Coffee: diet cokes please
This is actually lower than I expected: 48/95...i'm a 50.5% little white girl.
one last side note: fermi i think the whole being embarrassed to sing thing does stem from some childhood experience where someone makes fun of you or says you can't sing. personally, i know i am tone-deaf, but i love to sing by myself or even with quin around (this whole "my fiance" thing is too long so i'll go with quin from now on). i've done karaoke before, but they can make you sound good and i think that takes the pressure off. i think singing can be very personal and sometimes it's scary to let someone hear you- in case they just tell you that you suck. also, i COMPLETELY agree that singing is sexy...quin has the greatest voice. it just makes me melt...mmm
happy friday!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

I Like it, I Love it.

I scored 31 points total, which means that I am 32.6% predictable. Not bad, whitey.

* #82 Hating Corporations: I don't really feel too strongly about them.
* #81 Graduate School: No thanks.
* #80 The Idea of Soccer: I am against it.
* #79 Modern Furniture: I like it. (1)
* #78 Multilingual Children: No kids, thanks.
* #77 Musical Comedy: What?
* #76 Bottles of Water: Come in handy. (2)
* #75 Threatening to Move to Canada: Haha, this is so Carolline. I'm happy where I am though, thank you.
* #74 Oscar Parties: I'll pass.
* #73 Gentrification: I'm contributing to it, sorry Brooklyn. (3)
* #72 Study Abroad: I'll study a broad or two. (Jokes!)
* #71 Being the only white person around: No.
* #70 Difficult Breakups: Icky.
* #69 Mos Def: Don't care.
* #68 Michel Gondry: Yeah. (4)
* #67 Standing Still at Concerts: No way!
* #66 Divorce: Sad.
* #65 Co-Ed Sports: What are these sports you speak of?
* #64 Recycling: Totally! (5)
* #63 Expensive Sandwiches: Subway is just fine by me. $5 footlong.
* #62 Knowing What’s Best for Poor People: I don't know anything about what's best for anyone.
* #61 Bicycles: Can be totally useful. Wear a helmet please. (6)
* #60 Toyota Prius: Never been in one. I'm more into mass transit now.
* #59 Natural Medicine: I'm more of a prescription girl.
* #58 Japan: Never been there, but would like to. (7)
* #57 Juno: Too precious for my taste.
* #56 Lawyers: Who?
* #55 Apologies: No apologies. (8)
* #54 Kitchen Gadgets: gross.
* #53 Dogs: I'm more of a cat person now.
* #52 Sarah Silverman: I dunno. She's ok? (8.5)
* #51 Living by the Water: Breeding grounds for mosquitoes, No Thanks.
* #50 Irony: Ok, ok. (9.5)
* #49 Vintage: indifferent.
* #48 Whole Foods and Grocery Co-ops: I HATE grocery stores. All of them. They make me suicidal.
* #47 Arts Degrees: Even though my radio-television-film degree is technically classified as a science degree, I'm going to say yes. (10.5)
* #46 The Sunday New York Times: Why did this make the list?
* #45 Asian Fusion Food: I think so. (11.5)
* #44 Public Radio: Sure! (12.5)
* #43 Plays: If my friends are in them. (13)
* #42 Sushi: Delicious! (14)
* #41 Indie Music: Totally. (15)
* #40 Apple Products: Totally. (16)
* #39 Netflix: Don't have it, but am glad that my girlfriend does. (16.5)
* #38 Arrested Development: I like what little I've seen. (17)
* #37 Renovations: Sounds like a lot of work.
* #36 Breakfast Places: Guilty of brunching, yes. (18)
* #35 The Daily Show/Colbert Report: I'll watch it if someone puts it on. (18.5)
* #34 Architecture: I enjoy a good building every now and then. (19.5)
* #33 Marijuana: Thanks, but no thanks.
* #32 Vegan/Vegetarianism: I like the meats.
* #31 Snowboarding: I tried this once when I was little and almost killed myself.
* #30 Wrigley Field: I prefer the gum.
* #29 80s Night: NO.
* #28 Not having a TV: I neglect my TV, but enjoying knowing that it's there for me when I need it. (20.5)
* #27 Marathons: Pukey puke.
* #26 Manhattan (now Brooklyn too!): I live in Brooklyn. (21.5)
* #25 David Sedaris: Don't care.
* #24 Wine: Gives me headaches.
* #23 Microbreweries: Don't care.
* #22 Having Two Last Names: My last name is awesome enough to stand on its own.
* #21 Writers Workshops: No thanks.
* #20 Being an expert on YOUR culture: This is dumb.
* #19 Traveling: Like it like it like it. (22.5)
* #18 Awareness: WHAT.
* #17 Hating their Parents: I LOVE my parents.
* #16 Gifted Children: I don't like kids.
* #15 Yoga: Makes me puke.
* #14 Having Black Friends: I like friends. (23)
* #13 Tea: Makes me feel good. (24)
* #12 Non-Profit Organizations: Eh.
* #11 Asian Girls: Eh.
* #10 Wes Anderson Movies: Don't feel that strongly about them.
* #9 Making you feel bad about not going outside: Hahaha, I am usually on the receiving end of this.
* #8 Barack Obama: Shrug
* #7 Diversity: I like it. (25)
* #6 Organic Food: Sure! (26)
* #5 Farmer’s Markets: I hate shopping for food.
* #4 Assists: Huh??
* #3 Film Festivals: I only go if I have something screening (oops) (26.5)
* #2 Religions their parents don’t belong to: No thanks.
* #1 Coffee: Makes me insane, but I enjoy drinking it (27.5)

Added Bonus!

*#95 Rugby: Eww
*#94 Free Healthcare: Sounds really good in theory. My parents make a good case against it however. I'm on the fence. (28)
#93 Music Piracy: I like getting paid for the music I make. I buy hard copies of music I like.
#92 Book Deals: Never really enters my consciousness.
*#91 San Francisco: Fuck that place. Seriously. San Francisco stole my gear and broke my heart.
*#90 Dinner Parties: Dislike them for some reason. Seems like they're trying too hard.
*#89: St. Patrick's Day: Distracts from the best day of the year, my birthday.
*#88 Having Gay Friends: I wish all my friends were gay. (29)
*#87 Outdoor Performance Clothes: Hell no.
*#86 Shorts: Not unless they come down to my knees. Are they called something else then?
*#85 The Wire: Unless you're referring to the experimental music magazine, I'm going to say no.
*#84 T-Shirts: I've been down with t-shirts as of late. Yes, I like them. (30)
*#83: Bad Memories of High School: Totally. (31)

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Frisky Dingo & Honey G, BFF

This seems to be an odd arrangement of photos. Walking around a city gives you a different perspective than driving around in it.
Obviously, you go
slower when you walk. Maybe that is why I tend to notice more things. Like this Frisky Dingo sign. It is a bit disturbing at first because of the black and gray and red eyes. But then ... I think: Frisky Dingo... That should mean a dog, not some sunken old face. Speaking of dogs, I was walking mine and there was a dog in a house. He was laying by the stairs but when he saw me get my camera he stood up and started
barking at us. He lives in this really modern house with a tall glass enclosed staircase.

This past weekend we had Honey G and his girlfriend over. Honey G is a pretty awesome guy that works with Jips. We played Rockband. It was fun and interesting. Jips was on drums, Honey G played guitar, and I was prepared to be the bassist while Honey G's girl sang, but she apparently did not feel comfortable singing loud and strong like I do... so I ended up singing.

Singing alone in front of people is something that takes some getting used to. I was scared when I first did it... mostly because growing up my sister always told me how much I sucked at singing. But on Rockband (like sing-star and karaoke revolution) you get points for hitting the right notes at the right time. The point is... I am pretty excellent at singing. When I got 100% on a song on Medium, Honey G moved me up to Hard. And I was pretty awesome on Hard, too! Now, I'm not on Expert yet... oh but I will be!

I find that for people who don't have experience in chorus or musicals or leading a band, singing can be embarrassing. Is it because we can't hear exactly what we sound like? Did we all have someone in the past tell us that we suck? The interesting thing is that I LOVE listening to people sing now. When Jips sings (he's had voice training and musical experience but still...) when he sings I find it so hot. I want to jump in his pants. And when my college roommates came to visit and they sang on Rockband I LOVED their voices too.

but singing is about sexual confidence
so sing out your stuff
if you feel good enough
to let the moment just hit you,
if the music befits you
-Hawksley Workman
"Paper Shoes"

a very white response.

This is not going to be pretty:

#95 Rugby: nope
#94 Free Healthcare: used to live in France (1)
#93 Music Piracy: haven't paid for music in years with the exception of In Rainbows (2)
#92 Book Deals: don't care
#91 San Francisco: a city full of snakes
#90 Dinner Parties: LOVE THEM. I have 2 bottles of wine on my fridge waiting for the next one (3)
#89 St. Patrick’s Day: booze and pinching and an awesome parade (4)
#88 Having Gay Friends: I consider myself an amateur fruit fly (5)
#87 Outdoor Performance Clothes: still wearing my soccer shorts and t-shirts "uniform" from the last 9 years
#86 Shorts: nah, more on skorts
#85 The Wire: don't know what this is

#84 T-Shirts: why doesn't love a good T? (6)
#83 Bad Memories of High School: not terrible (6.5)
#82 Hating Corporations: guilty more in theory than practice(7.5)
#81 Graduate School: just enrolled (8.5)
#80 The Idea of Soccer: played for 8 years (9.5)
#79 Modern Furniture: neutral, but since I have shopped at Ikea (10)
#78 Multilingual Children: planning to marry a Dutch man (11)
#77 Musical Comedy: I do love Flight of the Conchords (11.5)
#76 Bottles of Water: nah
#75 Threatening to Move to Canada: planned to move to Montreal at the beginning of the school year, don't really threaten though (12)

#74 Oscar Parties: I hate the Oscars
#73 Gentrification: it's super cool (13)
#72 Study Abroad: f yes. Studied once and went back again after college (14)
#71 Being the only white person around: I can't say this has ever happened
#70 Difficult Breakups: I'll let you know as soon as I have a relationship long enough for there to be an actual breakup.
#69 Mos Def: MOSt DEFinitely not
#68 Michel Gondry: don't know him
#67 Standing Still at Concerts: when I go, I am guilty (15)
#66 Divorce: not opposed but don't plan on it
#65 Co-Ed Sports: guys are too competitive about sports, I do love some co-ed badminton

#64 Recycling: love it, I always fill up recycling quicker than my trash (16)
#63 Expensive Sandwiches: there's this whole foods sandwich with turkey, brie, and Adriatic fig spread. It is mind blowing. (17)
#62 Knowing What’s Best for Poor People: I don't pretend that
#61 Bicycles: about to ride mine to the Rec in a few minutes. (18)
#60 Toyota Prius: can't afford that shit
#59 Natural Medicine: hokey, and not just VT
#58 Japan: I would go there, but I'd rather go somewhere else.
#57 Juno: never seen it, don't plan to see it, don't care about preggies
#56 Lawyers: my dad, his 3 siblings, and his father are/were all lawyers. I chose grad school over law. (19)
#55 Apologies: huh?, I guess? (20)

#54 Kitchen Gadgets: outside of a toaster oven and a cork screw, it doesn't get too much fancier.
#53 Dogs: they are cute little poopers. (21)
#52 Sarah Silverman: she's fucking Matt Damon, point (22)
#51 Living by the Water: enh, do the LSU lakes count?
#50 Irony: a noun, when something is the opposite of what you would have expected your English teacher to do. (23)
#49 Vintage: sparingly (23.5)
#48 Whole Foods and Grocery Co-ops: I did mention the thing about Adriatic fig spread? (24.5)
#47 Arts Degrees: I assume English counts? How about a masters in International Affairs? (25.5)
#46 The Sunday New York Times: sometimes wished I lived in New York for this alone (26.5)
#45 Asian Fusion Food: put soy ginger on anything and I will eat it (27.5)

#44 Public Radio: This American Life is the best show EVER. I just paid 20 bucks to see a satellite broadcast. (28.5)
#43 Plays: no
#42 Sushi: hells yes (29.5)
#41 Indie Music: point and a half, listening to Neko Case right now (31)
#40 Apple Products: hate apple, the ipod is evil
#39 Netflix: once again, the not having any money is fucking me
#38 Arrested Development: there's always money in the banana stand (32)
#37 Renovations: I rent not to own
#36 Breakfast Places: hungover Louie's is amazing (33)
#35 The Daily Show/Colbert Report: if it's on when I'm at home, I'll take ganders (34)

#34 Architecture: sure, most of the time anyway (35)
#33 Marijuana: (36)
#32 Vegan/Vegetarianism: on and off for 3 years (37)
#31 Snowboarding: doesn't really happen in Louisiana
#30 Wrigley Field: HATE baseball
#29 80s Night: too much smoke at the spanish moon
#28 Not having a TV: so guilty (38)
#27 Marathons: done 4 halves, plan to do a full eventually (39)
#26 Manhattan (now Brooklyn too!): gonna live there eventually (40)
#25 David Sedaris: He's coming to BR on the 18th of June!!!!!! (41)

#24 Wine: love it, white, red, rose, it's tres bon (42)
#23 Microbreweries: yummy (43)
#22 Having Two Last Names: I could never give up my last name
#21 Writers Workshops: not my bag
#20 Being an expert on YOUR culture: I hate Cajun music but will eat crawfish and drink Abita
#19 Traveling: just give me my over sized touring backpack and some soap on a rope (44)
#18 Awareness: ooh Gertrude, I don't even know how many times I used this word in my grad school essays (45)
#17 Hating their Parents: high school doesn't count
#16 Gifted Children: I mean, there's no other way they'll be with Dutch genes (46)
#15 Yoga: maybe when I'm 50 and my legs are shot from running

#14 Having Black Friends: enh, not intentionally
#13 Tea: LOVE IT (47)
#12 Non-Profit Organizations: working for one this summer (48)
#11 Asian Girls: only Asian babies, they are the cutest
#10 Wes Anderson Movies: oh, are they? (49)
#9 Making you feel bad about not going outside: more for not exercising than not going outside (50)
#8 Barack Obama: Wycelf for president (51)
#7 Diversity: a given (52)
#6 Organic Food: overpriced
#5 Farmer’s Markets: only in france (53)
#4 Assists: I hate basketball
#3 Film Festivals: only in France, and not that much
#2 Religions their parents don’t belong to: nah
#1 Coffee: hate it

Dang, 53/95. If I did my figuring correctly, that's 55% white.

Where am I? Where have I been?

Hey guys. Remember me? Well, I'm back from tour. I've been back for a while actually, but the culmination of a number of stressful situations made me reluctant to post. Things are sorting themselves out now, so I'm attempting to make a comeback.

I flew to Houston this past weekend with the band to play a one-off show at Rice University. It was nice to be in Texas for a few days. God the trees are beautiful in the south. While we were there, I had a conversation with one of my band mates about the constant traveling. I said, "I'm noticing that I always feel really lonely the first day or two that I'm away. And when I get back, I feel really sad for about the same amount of time." It's hard being away from the people that you love, but it can be hard coming back to them as well. I wonder if I just like consistency, or if it's that I need constant emotional support. Or maybe it just comes down to what is it that makes me happy? Last night, I posed this question to my girlfriend. "What makes you happy? Like, in general. In life." She took a few seconds, and then said, "Well, I was pretty much depressed the first 23 years of my life. Then, at 23 it all changed. I just decided that I was going to be entertained by everything." "So now you're entertained by everything, and that's what makes you happy?" "Yeah, pretty much," she said. Not bad. Such a self-sufficient recipe for happiness seems pretty appealing to me. I know that I'm definitely the happiest when I'm creating something. Playing music, making stuff, blah blah etc. etc.... But I also need someone that I can share all of that with. But wait, I have both of those things. Maybe I need them both, at once, forever.

We are playing a show in Brooklyn tonight and I am really excited. It will be our first show in the area since I joined the band. My friends and girlfriend are finally going to get to see us, and I'm totally psyched about that.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008


Do you remember that blog on Wordpress, 'Stuff White People Like' that Peach-Bone mentioned a while back? I remember seeing an interview with the guy that makes the blog... He said the whitest band is Vampire Weekend, and the whitest movie is Juno.

Juno comes out on video today. And this weekend I bought two tickets to see Vampire Weekend. Upon further thought about the SWPL blog, I realized that I am very white, but I am white and uncool, and that is why most of the stuff doesn't apply to me. I did a google search to find the SWPL blog again and I found some other kid's blog: I'm pretty sure we've heard this one before. Apparently it is by some cat named John who has an odd obsession with Cmah. Cmah is Asian I think. John and Cmah have the usual man-love thing going on that alot of guys have. So anyway John did this post about SWPL and then he and his friends went on and listed all of the "stuff" and decided if it applied to them. Let's look at how I stack up:

* #82 Hating Corporations: No. I love corporations. Seriously.
* #81 Graduate School: I'm in G-skoo. (1)
* #80 The Idea of Soccer: Sure. (2)
* #79 Modern Furniture: Lame.
* #78 Multilingual Children: Planning on having a Hispanic nanny. (3)
* #77 Musical Comedy: boring.
* #76 Bottles of Water: I like tap.
* #75 Threatening to Move to Canada: it's too cold
* #74 Oscar Parties: no.
* #73 Gentrification: maybe (3.5)
* #72 Study Abroad: I love America. I never want to leave.
* #71 Being the only white person around: no.
* #70 Difficult Breakups: No.
* #69 Mos Def: I didn't even know who he was until he was in a film with Jack Black. I can pass on Mos Def.
* #68 Michel Gondry: who is this?
* #67 Standing Still at Concerts: I like to move ever so slightly.
* #66 Divorce: no!
* #65 Co-Ed Sports: I prefer not to sweat in front of boys.
* #64 Recycling: YES! (4.5)
* #63 Expensive Sandwiches: no thanks, I'll eat my yogurt and blueberries from home.
* #62 Knowing What’s Best for Poor People: I try not to think about them.
* #61 Bicycles: They seem scary to me now.
* #60 Toyota Prius: Ken has one, and it is kinda cool. But I want a hybrid convertible. (5)
* #59 Natural Medicine: no. drug me up and knock me out.
* #58 Japan: I love America, not Japan.
* #57 Juno: I wish I was Juno. (6)
* #56 Lawyers: are lame.
* #55 Apologies: I'll avoid talking to people if I can help it.
* #53 Dogs: I LOVE DOGS! (7)
* #52 Sarah Silverman: who?
* #51 Living by the Water: I never have, although it could be nice. (7.5)
* #50 Irony: I'm not sure how this applies.
* #49 Vintage: I'll pass. I like Natalie-Dee T-shirts though.
* #48 Whole Foods and Grocery Co-ops: No.
* #47 Arts Degrees: I'm more into Basic Sciences.
* #46 The Sunday New York Times: Why did this make the list?
* #45 Asian Fusion Food: I don't like Asian Food.
* #44 Public Radio: We only listen to Angry-White-Boy around here.
* #43 Plays: I'd rather be walking my dogs.
* #42 Sushi: No.
* #41 Indie Music: Not because it is indie (8)
* #40 Apple Products: I'm anti apple.
* #39 Netflix: No
* #38 Arrested Development: I don't approve. I am pro-development. Apparently it is funny. I haven't seen it.
* #37 Renovations: Pain in the ass.
* #36 Breakfast Places: I'll pass, thanks.
* #35 The Daily Show/Colbert Report: I don't stay up that late.
* #34 Architecture: huh?
* #33 Marijuana: No
* #32 Vegan/Vegetarianism: No
* #31 Snowboarding: I avoid cold things.
* #30 Wrigley Field: I am against baseball
* #29 80s Night: I love 80's music. but the people that would attend 80's night annoy me.
* #28 Not having a TV: we have more TVs than people in my house.
* #27 Marathons: I don't think they are healthy.
* #26 Manhattan (now Brooklyn too!): too expensive for me.
* #25 David Sedaris: who is this?
* #24 Wine: I don't drink. But I like white wine sauce. (8.5)
* #23 Microbreweries: no. Gay.
* #22 Having Two Last Names: I have one last name. And one ex-last-name.
* #21 Writers Workshops: No.
* #20 Being an expert on YOUR culture: no.
* #19 Traveling: No. I like staying home.
* #18 Awareness: only of me and nice things. I don't want to know about problems. (9)
* #17 Hating their Parents: no
* #16 Gifted Children: I am one. (10)
* #15 Yoga: Too Slow
* #14 Having Black Friends: the black girls would rather hang out with other black girls and not me. :(
* #13 Tea: at times. (10.5)
* #12 Non-Profit Organizations: indifferent
* #11 Asian Girls: indifferent
* #10 Wes Anderson Movies: I don't know who this is.
* #9 Making you feel bad about not going outside: I don't care if you go outside or not.
* #8 Barack Obama: I don't know. I'd vote Hillary before him. *gasp*
* #7 Diversity: it looks good on paper, but not one of my passions.
* #6 Organic Food: no.
* #5 Farmer’s Markets: only in Louisiana. (11.5)
* #4 Assists: Is this a religion about Ass?
* #3 Film Festivals: I don't have time for them.
* #2 Religions their parents don’t belong to: I like religions. (12.5)
* #1 Coffee: Only Diet Soda for me.

So that is it. My score 12.5/82
I am 15.24% white.
84.76% Uncool.
I gave myself 1 point for each (Yes), 0.5 points for (Maybe/Sometimes) and 0 points for (No).

Monday, April 14, 2008

Fight to the death: Feminism vs Zitizen

A Photo of Traffic, by Fermi I was inspired by booton's engagement photo. (below)
At first I didn't even know that was you!

Every once in awhile I decide that I want to become famous on the internet. Then I try to become famous, and I don't actually make it. Now is one of those times. I should be smarter than this. Fame is so shallow. It doesn't matter. My real personal relationships matter, exercising matters, dogs matter. Ugh. Maybe it was the Immatrex I took this morning for my migraine. Those always put me in a crappy mood. Or maybe because my face is breaking out: I have two "problems." Probably from eating nothing but pizza for the past 3 days. Anyway, normally I look in the mirror and think "I am gorgeous!" But when I have a "bad face day" I CANNOT handle it. I CANNOT. I feel like a second class citizen. A zitizen if you will.

Changing the subject now... AHEM.
One of my favorite blogs is A Prolific Squalor. Every weekday you get a snippet of an IM conversation. Kind of like being in high school. Sometimes I wish I had cool IM conversations like that. All of mine go like this:

Me: When do you want to leave work today?
Jips: I don't know.
Me: How about 8
Jips: Okay see you then.
Me: bye
Jips: bye

Pretty Dull.
I found out about Prolific Squalor from another blog: Bitch PhD. I pretty much find out about everything cool from her. A recent post by M. Leblanc is about menstruating. It has a link to a photographer's site. Anyway they are pretty much all about feminism over there. Feminism is a topic I have been thinking more about lately. Mostly because of Women In Chemistry (WIC) I guess. I was doing a Google search for women chemists with PhDs who took years off of work to be stay at home moms while their children were small. I didn't find any... but I found bitch's blog.

As Co-Chair of WIC it is my job to get speakers to come have lunch with our group. Most speakers are really hard-core work-a-holic types who don't spend much time with their children. And the topic "work life balance" always comes up. The funny thing is that all of the speakers (the successful, established Women Chemists) all basically say that work-life-balance is good, but that they didn't have any.

We have yet to find a woman with a PhD in Chemistry who was a stay at home mom for several years and then went back to work. It will be very difficult to get a job after being out of the workforce for 5 or 7 years while your kids are small. We know that. We want to hear how it is done.

After my Oral Exam I went to Barns and Nobles to get a book to read "for fun." That is one of the things I miss the most: reading for fun. I just read so much for work now, and additional reading is less important than walking the dogs or cleaning up the kitchen. I didn't see anything great fiction-wise (I will take recommendations) but I did see this book: The Female Brain. It has mixed reviews on Amazon, and I stopped before I read about menopause, etc. But it was interesting. It had this part about some parents who were careful to get trans-gender toys for their daughter. One of them was a big red firetruck. And the dad walked up once and saw the girl holding the firetruck wrapped in a blanket like a baby talking to it. The point being that the girl formed a relationship with the firetruck because girls are biologically more into relationships than boys. Cute, huh?

It is easy to argue against [anything]/[all of what is] written in the Female Brain simply because looking at females as different biological beings than males is still new. And behavioral studies take a long time to do. Whatever. It is an interesting read. At least the first couple of chapters. Then it gets a bit repetitive.

The End.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie....

i thought my life was going to settle down, but it's absolutely not
going to at all until the semester is over...which i guess is
how graduate school is supposed to be!

my fiance and i took our engagement pictures a few weeks
ago, and it was actually quite fun! i had always thought
engagement pictures were cheesy (which they definitely are)
and a waste of money, but once it came time for us to
decide i realized i actually wanted to take some. just the idea
to have all of these pictures of us young and in love...and even
just the memory of that day taking pictures. it just seemed
like a waste not to do it! plus i think it's fun that we'll have these goofy pictures of us making out all over downtown, and how scarring it will be for our kids to look at the album....

school is as busy as ever with papers and readings, but it's getting to the point where i know i'm in the right field. i'm getting excited about my research- and at least for me, that means i'm going to do a much better job!

also, very exciting news- we found a house today!!! we've been living in this TINY one-bedroom house...literally it's about 300 square feet (which is pretty much just one square that will fit 1 1/2 couches, a bed, a little desk, and pretty much only 4 people at a time). and our new place is this really funky old house with a sunken den- 2 bedrooms and a study!! i'm so excited....definitely the highlight of my week.

that's all the time for today- and now it's time for bed! (i'm old and not much fun anymore, i enjoy my sleep)

Sunday, April 6, 2008

the hardest thing

My Oral Exam was Wednesday.

When I was an undergrad I thought the Oral Exam for my PhD would be the hardest thing I would ever do. At that time I couldn’t even imagine having the confidence to walk into a conference room and get grilled for 2 or 3 hours. And it is true that the academic community thinks that the Oral PhD exam is the hardest exam period.

But this January I felt ready. I am not sure why I felt ready, I certainly never expected to, but it was probably a combination of my first year and a half of grad school. Teaching gave me confidence I think, especially teaching the same material multiple times. Also I grew up a great deal, while the assault of monthly literature exams was grueling and tedious, it accomplished its goal. The success of my second year seminar added to my confidence. Most of my classes were pointless, but in Andy the Lion’s class I learned how to write a good proposal, and how to critique it.

In January my first task was to get a committee. I was pretty scared to ask anyone to be on my committee because I was afraid they would say no. I didn’t feel like I was worth their time, and I expected them to feel the same way. But I forced myself to do it. And surprisingly everyone said yes. Not only did they say yes, but that they would love to help me out as much as they could. The older grad student I had talked to didn’t get those same responses. I was very surprised.

As far as I know, I was the second person in my entering class to have their oral exam. We can schedule it anytime after we pass the previous qualifier (end of fall of 2nd year) until the start of the fall semester of our 3rd year. I got my date 1 month in advance. I got my original idea, the day after I got my date.

Jips said to me: “You have alot of guts to go so early.”

I said: “I don’t have guts, I just lack inhibition.”

Ken and Shawshank were certain I would pass. I didn’t understand why. Shawshank said: “The purpose of the Oral Exam is to get rid of people that don’t belong here. That isn’t you.”

I didn’t really understand that until after my exam. Mostly I enjoy being the center of attention. I like writing on the board and answering questions. My oral wasn’t much different than teaching a general chemistry / organic / analytical class. My boss commented that I had a very supportive committee. They loved me, which is good. I am used to people loving me. This is one thing we talked about in therapy, how I am used to everyone adoring me. My boss doesn’t act like he adores me. My therapist says this is because he is insecure and I threaten him. I can see how that could be true... he is not very intelligent, not very moral, not attractive, and unloved. And I am the golden child.

After my exam, I felt like my committee had already decided that I would pass before they walked into the room that morning. I also felt like I wanted to do it again in a month so I could do even better. Of course that won’t happen. And I actually couldn’t do better score-wise: I got an unconditional pass, the highest you can get. But I wanted to be more impressive to my committee and to the world. I want to know everything. It’s just that there isn’t enough time. Anyway, now it is over.

To wrap this up: The oral exam was far from the hardest thing I will ever do. Dealing with unintelligent insecure people in power is far more difficult. Unfortunately, it also is something that lasts longer than two hours in a conference room.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Early morning, April 4, Shot rings out in the Memphis sky

Today, in commemoration of the 40th anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.'s assassination, I played part of an episode from my favorite radio show, This American Life. It was an episode called "Kid Logic" (you can listen for free) about how children relate to the world and make discoveries.

The part I played for my (mostly white, privileged) classes was about thirteen minutes into the episode. It's a man talking about how his 4-year old daughter came to learn about Jesus. They go through the Christmas holidays and she learns more and more about him and his teachings. Of particular interest was the golden rule: "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." The story progresses and she eventually sees a statue of a crucifix with Jesus on it outside a church. At this point, her father explains to her that "Jesus ran afoul of the Roman government" because the message was so "radical and unnerving to the Roman authorities."

Then time passes a month and they both have off for Martin Luther King Day so they go to have lunch at a cafe. At the table, there was a section of the paper with Martin Luther King on the front. She asked who he was and her father explains to her that he was a preacher. She then says (in arguably one of the funniest parts of this episode) "FOR JESUS!" He then goes into an explanation that he also had a message; "that you should treat everyone the same no matter what they look like." She thinks about it for a second and says: "well that's what Jesus said." She pauses for a second and says: "did they kill him too?"

So when I listen to this story alone, I usually have a few tears welling up. That obviously didn't happen in the classroom, but I did have a good and rather unexpected reaction. None of my kids said anything in response. These little boys who are usually so quick to push away the notion that they are sensitive and caring and emotional just sat in silence while I switched the tape off and started distributing grammar books.