Saturday, July 26, 2008

you've got to rearrange

Love the pictures, Fermi. And kudos for being in a space of embracing your physical form. I am working towards that same goal myself, one little-bitty step at a time. It helps to see things like your last post. It reminds me to appreciate the progress I've made over the past couple of years and not to fixate on the steps back I've taken over the past few months. I'll get there, I know it. It just won't be overnight and it sure as hell won't be easy. But as long as men be luvvin dem curves, I maybe won't have to go it alone or without support forever.

You also asked me sometime back about how I'm coming with the weight loss struggles and it's occurring to me now that I never got back to you . . . it's hard. But I am doing my best and working on reconnecting to myself. My success in the past with weight loss is due in very large part to marrying my mind and body in the name of loving and caring for all aspects of my Self. I feel like I've strayed some from that path in the last few months, but also feel myself slowly but surely moving back in that direction. It's beginning to get easier to breathe. Thanks for asking.

Last night was my last night at the Noble. Although my heart was ever-so-slightly heavier with sadness, I am mostly excited to be moving on with my life, direction: forward! I've been teaching at Sylvan Learning Center for the past two weeks and am working on finishing up with the Summer semester. I happened to be awarded a small Transfer Scholarship from UL, which was modest in its amount, but a graciously accepted honor, nonetheless. Professionally, things feel like they're falling into place for the first time in my life. And it's nice.
Sylvan has been a little overwhelming since I'm having to learn the ropes, but it feels more like a challenge that I am up to and less like crushing pressure that defeats me before I try. *Deep exhale of relief* I still am having trouble believing that people can like what they do for a living. There are definitely things about it that are work . . . things that I am not in love with, but generally speaking, I can foresee liking going to work at Sylvan every day. What's more I can foresee being really good at this job. The kids can be great. Like this one girl I was working with yesterday declared, "I'm a beast at this!" after feeling confident that she had learned a new reading skill. The same girl this morning, when prompted to generate a sentence using new vocabulary words containing "ou" vowel diagraphs, produced: "I got to bounce."
Bliss! I love that little girl. Were she twenty years older, I'm positive we'd be road dawgs.

OH! I cannot believe I almost forgot to report back about Iowa!! In short -- which I would be glad to explain in further detail if anyone is interested -- it's a no go. Too expensive and not a good fit for me. It's just not what I had in mind. I was fortunate, though, to meet some incredible people and have an unexpectedly wonderful time.
Apologies for the meandering post . . . it's been a while and I am still recovering from celebrating the end of my Barnes and Noble era. Holla.


Tino said...

YAy! Scholarship, liking your job, cool lil' girl.


Fermi said...

*People can like what they do for a living*

This is something I would be interested in hearing everyone's opinion on. I have almost always liked some aspects of the jobs I have had. But at the same time I like free time more. Arg. I should blog this better later.

Clay Perry said...

i've never liked what i do for a living. sometimes it goes smoothly others its a headache, i couldnt imagine teaching for a living, i think it would be great on the surface, but the politics & BS would probably keep me away from it... i wish you could make money by carving wooden walking sticks & watching movies...

Tino said...

I like free time more because nothing is expected of me.

I like myself better, though, when I'm teaching. I have fun teaching sometimes and sometimes I'm incredibly stressed by it. But not because of job politics or drama. Just the daily workload and wanting to be really effective.