I am currently reading The Ten Year Nap which was recommended to me by a professor at a near-by girls college. It has 3/5 stars on Amazon so I would not have picked it up had it not been about mothers who had stopped working to raise children-- a topic that I am interested in.
One of the reviewers on amazon said that the book is just all of these women complaining about their lives, but not changing their lives. And reading it, I find that it is a *depressing state* book. I mean that all of the characters in the book are living a life that I do not care to emulate. In short, it makes me want to return to work shortly after my kids can walk.
I was reading the book this morning, and one line in particular caught my attention-- it was something about how now that this woman character was married with kids she didn't stay out all night anymore like she did when she was single. A similar statement has been said to me by many of the women who come talk to my Women's group- except that our speakers say they don't spend all of their time working like they used to- now they lead more balanced lives.
Then I think of my life where I am young and already I have to work on leading a balanced life. If I am already working on adapting now, how will I adapt in the future? This is my handicap- the fact that I get so stressed out about life in general... Cardiovascular exercise is supposed to help with that- and it might help me some- except that thinking about doing cardio also stresses me out. That's where Yoga comes in. For the first time I am able to really relax, and I don't anxiously anticipate Yoga the way I do other activities. Yoga could be the solution to my headaches.
Showing posts with label Feminism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Feminism. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Sunday, October 5, 2008
TFA is short for: Shot in the FACE
I can feel it: the obsession creeping in. I am checking MY OWN BLOG multiple times a day to look for comments and new posts.
Skuh asked me why I said TFA is the devil. The reality is that I just like to make outlandish claims without any substance to them. I don't know that much about Teach For America, but these facts make me distrust them:
1) they are an organization with lots of propaganda
2) you can write the TFA experience on your resume
3) their target age group = college kids
Organizations and Cults love to target college kids because often times college kids don't want to grow up and they don't know what they will do with their lives. College kids are legal-for-labor and they don't always place a high value on their time. The exploitation opportunities are endless.
Skuh, I know you aren't doing TFA so you can write it on your resume. But that will be the focus of the people you will be working with. You were an English major so you might not know how annoying pre-meds are. People who are too focused on resumes are a bitch to be around because they lack something that most other people have: a soul.
I am naturally distrustful of organizations especially if there is propaganda involved. From what I have heard, TFA does not tolerate any negative talk about TFA. Personally, I like the truth and I like free speech. TFA likes to smite the truth.
And finally, if you join TFA you may be shot in the face by one of your students.
Check the links:
Feministe: Why I Hate Teach For America
(read the comments on Feministe, too)
Philadelphia Rain
Loving to Hate Teach for America
How I Joined Teach for America-- and got Sued for $20 million
---------
Did yall watch the new HOUSE Tuesday?
If so you will love LOL House, courtesy of J-Money.
It is really funny! Scroll down to see the pics.
Skuh asked me why I said TFA is the devil. The reality is that I just like to make outlandish claims without any substance to them. I don't know that much about Teach For America, but these facts make me distrust them:
1) they are an organization with lots of propaganda
2) you can write the TFA experience on your resume
3) their target age group = college kids
Organizations and Cults love to target college kids because often times college kids don't want to grow up and they don't know what they will do with their lives. College kids are legal-for-labor and they don't always place a high value on their time. The exploitation opportunities are endless.
Skuh, I know you aren't doing TFA so you can write it on your resume. But that will be the focus of the people you will be working with. You were an English major so you might not know how annoying pre-meds are. People who are too focused on resumes are a bitch to be around because they lack something that most other people have: a soul.
I am naturally distrustful of organizations especially if there is propaganda involved. From what I have heard, TFA does not tolerate any negative talk about TFA. Personally, I like the truth and I like free speech. TFA likes to smite the truth.
And finally, if you join TFA you may be shot in the face by one of your students.
Check the links:
Feministe: Why I Hate Teach For America
(read the comments on Feministe, too)
Philadelphia Rain
Loving to Hate Teach for America
How I Joined Teach for America-- and got Sued for $20 million
---------
Did yall watch the new HOUSE Tuesday?
If so you will love LOL House, courtesy of J-Money.
It is really funny! Scroll down to see the pics.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Goal 1: Control the Universe
The 1992 graduate asked me who I worked for, and when I told her she scrunched up her face in disgust. I smiled and said "yes."
"Maybe he's changed." She said.
"He hasn't. The person who told me I should work for him got fired the year I joined."
"That was the same thing that happened to my friend who worked for him." she said.
---------------
Now in my third year, my boss is not the problem. He isn't going to fire me, because right now, I am more valuable to him than he is to me. On top of that, I have learned how to deal with him. I don't stress out about group meetings or seeing him.
The problem is now internal and personal. Personal because my house is a mess, and I have to study organic on my down time rather than clean my house. Internal because I feel like I haven't done anything worthwhile in the past 2.25 years.
I know it isn't true. I have a paper published in a journal where "only experts in the field" publish. I won a teaching award. I have led the revival of my Women In Science group for the past year growing our membership from 5 to 45. I passed my oral exam and all of my PhD qualifiers.
But I have not made a scientific contribution to my field. In reality this is mostly because of (1) choosing to work for an older advisor who has had several bad ideas that I had to entertain. and (2) bad luck, old instruments, lack of funding. I am certain that I am not alone in my current status of lack of contribution. A professor I respect got his whole thesis out of the last 6 months of the 6 years it took him to get a PhD. In fact, most people I know (haven't/hadn't) done anything worthwhile (at this point in their PhD education.) I guess I feel frustrated because Katu, a friend that I respect, HAS done worthwhile work.
To further Analyse the situation:
I ask myself: Would I trade my accomplishments for Katu's? The answer is no. I just want it all. And that brings us to the truth: that you really can't have it all. Life is a trade off, and with each thing we choose we discard a different choice.
So I guess the answer is: focus on the positive. I am the person that I want to be except for the fact that I'm not omnipotent.
"Maybe he's changed." She said.
"He hasn't. The person who told me I should work for him got fired the year I joined."
"That was the same thing that happened to my friend who worked for him." she said.
---------------
Now in my third year, my boss is not the problem. He isn't going to fire me, because right now, I am more valuable to him than he is to me. On top of that, I have learned how to deal with him. I don't stress out about group meetings or seeing him.
The problem is now internal and personal. Personal because my house is a mess, and I have to study organic on my down time rather than clean my house. Internal because I feel like I haven't done anything worthwhile in the past 2.25 years.
I know it isn't true. I have a paper published in a journal where "only experts in the field" publish. I won a teaching award. I have led the revival of my Women In Science group for the past year growing our membership from 5 to 45. I passed my oral exam and all of my PhD qualifiers.
But I have not made a scientific contribution to my field. In reality this is mostly because of (1) choosing to work for an older advisor who has had several bad ideas that I had to entertain. and (2) bad luck, old instruments, lack of funding. I am certain that I am not alone in my current status of lack of contribution. A professor I respect got his whole thesis out of the last 6 months of the 6 years it took him to get a PhD. In fact, most people I know (haven't/hadn't) done anything worthwhile (at this point in their PhD education.) I guess I feel frustrated because Katu, a friend that I respect, HAS done worthwhile work.
To further Analyse the situation:
- Katu works longer hours than me, and she probably works harder than me 85% of the time
- Katu works for a young professor who has good ideas
- Katu does not have a paper in the esteemed journal that I have one in
- Katu hasn't led the Women In Science group
- Katu hasn't won a teaching award
- Katu has passed her PhD qualifiers
- Katu doesn't exercise regularly or have dogs
I ask myself: Would I trade my accomplishments for Katu's? The answer is no. I just want it all. And that brings us to the truth: that you really can't have it all. Life is a trade off, and with each thing we choose we discard a different choice.
So I guess the answer is: focus on the positive. I am the person that I want to be except for the fact that I'm not omnipotent.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Woe to the Woah
At my University it was the first week of classes. I am auditing one class this semester about macromolecular structure and it is very interesting. Sitting in class feels like a treat! It is also a bit odd as I am constantly reminded of how I know almost nothing about Biochemistry. This is a new feeling because I selected my focus before my senior year of college and from my senior year until now (my 3rd year of grad school), all of my courses have had some overlap and they became second nature to me. Now, sitting in a course I know nothing about, I consistently guess incorrectly (out loud and in my head) and this is a new thing for me. I am about 10 for 10 of incorrect in class answers. This is doing wonders for my self- esteem. ;)
The most thought provoking incident of the week occurred on Thursday. I lead a Women in Chemistry group of graduate students, and we were asked to hold a breakfast and lunch for a seminar speaker. The speaker is a smart soft spoken woman who works at a national lab. She is only 1.5 years out of graduate school so her point of view was really applicable to my group.
Having lunches with professional PhD women is one of the most common activities of my Women's group. The goal of these lunches is to rejuvenate and inspire us, to provide us glimpses of careers of our futures, and to provide us with positive female role models. The funny thing was that after this breakfast-lunch combo, at least 50% of my group were either crying or thinking of crying and wanting to quit graduate school. ... Mission Accomplished.
I wasn't crying, but I felt the same way. Jips asked me: What did she say to make you all so upset? I thought about that and I thought about the underlying assumptions that we had about our future life that made the speakers talk such a rude awakening. I came up with a few reasons for our woe.
Reasons for Woe
1. College is Awesome. For most of us, college is the first time (that we think) we are treated as adults. We go to class, have a part time job, workout, and hang out with friends. The thing about college is that you have a TON of free time. Well, I had a TON of free time because I never took 18 hours in one semester. But the sad truth is: college is nothing like real adult life. The truth is that most Americans work very hard at their jobs, and college educated Americans (more often than not) work more than 40 hours a week. This in itself is a shocker if you think college is the begining of your adult life.
2. Most women in my group came to get their PhD straight out of college. Our graduate program requires more than 40 hours a week for the first two years. Add to that the emotional toll of our peon status of graduate students, the fact that we make as much as a wall-mart grocery bagger, and you get some weary kids. One girl told me this: You know what our problem is? We liked Chemistry in college, so we got fooled into thinking that graduate school was a good idea. And now we are stuck in this 10 foot deep cylinder of shit that we can't get out of. Perhaps I embellished that a bit. Regardless, it is true. Getting a PhD in Science can suck ass, especially in the first 2 years when the demands are high.
Enter our speaker who said:
-I thought I worked hard in grad school, but now I work so much harder and I am so much busier.
-I work five 10 hour days, and then about five or six hours on Sunday. I feel like I get to see my husband all the time because we go running every night after work, and on Saturday we sleep in and then run errands together.
To someone who is barely holding on now in grad school, this sounds like a bleak future.
From Woe to woah.
I thought about this some more, and it does seem true that most educated people in America work hard at their jobs. So why should I look forward to my future?
1. My Peon Status won't last forever. Feeling like an expert at work rather than a slave has got to do wonders for the enjoyment you can get out of your job.
2. Everyone in America works hard, but I will be getting paid a large amount of money for the work I do.
3. I will probably be working with other highly educated adults. This has got to beat being a first grade teacher, or waiting tables.
4. I like science, research, development, and optimization. When I was in undergrad, a grad student in the lab where I worked told me: You would probably like grad school because you really like research. That helps me even now. I do LOVE research, and focusing on the science and how cool it is helps me like my job now, and will probably help in the future.
---------
So why do I have a photo of the guy with a power tool? Cause I learned how to drill this week! My research has required me to do a construction project and it is awesome. I am going slow (Because I have never built anything before.) But so far my project looks good and very sturdy. So I am enjoying work a ton this week.
The most thought provoking incident of the week occurred on Thursday. I lead a Women in Chemistry group of graduate students, and we were asked to hold a breakfast and lunch for a seminar speaker. The speaker is a smart soft spoken woman who works at a national lab. She is only 1.5 years out of graduate school so her point of view was really applicable to my group.
Having lunches with professional PhD women is one of the most common activities of my Women's group. The goal of these lunches is to rejuvenate and inspire us, to provide us glimpses of careers of our futures, and to provide us with positive female role models. The funny thing was that after this breakfast-lunch combo, at least 50% of my group were either crying or thinking of crying and wanting to quit graduate school. ... Mission Accomplished.
I wasn't crying, but I felt the same way. Jips asked me: What did she say to make you all so upset? I thought about that and I thought about the underlying assumptions that we had about our future life that made the speakers talk such a rude awakening. I came up with a few reasons for our woe.
Reasons for Woe
1. College is Awesome. For most of us, college is the first time (that we think) we are treated as adults. We go to class, have a part time job, workout, and hang out with friends. The thing about college is that you have a TON of free time. Well, I had a TON of free time because I never took 18 hours in one semester. But the sad truth is: college is nothing like real adult life. The truth is that most Americans work very hard at their jobs, and college educated Americans (more often than not) work more than 40 hours a week. This in itself is a shocker if you think college is the begining of your adult life.
2. Most women in my group came to get their PhD straight out of college. Our graduate program requires more than 40 hours a week for the first two years. Add to that the emotional toll of our peon status of graduate students, the fact that we make as much as a wall-mart grocery bagger, and you get some weary kids. One girl told me this: You know what our problem is? We liked Chemistry in college, so we got fooled into thinking that graduate school was a good idea. And now we are stuck in this 10 foot deep cylinder of shit that we can't get out of. Perhaps I embellished that a bit. Regardless, it is true. Getting a PhD in Science can suck ass, especially in the first 2 years when the demands are high.
Enter our speaker who said:
-I thought I worked hard in grad school, but now I work so much harder and I am so much busier.
-I work five 10 hour days, and then about five or six hours on Sunday. I feel like I get to see my husband all the time because we go running every night after work, and on Saturday we sleep in and then run errands together.
To someone who is barely holding on now in grad school, this sounds like a bleak future.
From Woe to woah.
I thought about this some more, and it does seem true that most educated people in America work hard at their jobs. So why should I look forward to my future?
1. My Peon Status won't last forever. Feeling like an expert at work rather than a slave has got to do wonders for the enjoyment you can get out of your job.
2. Everyone in America works hard, but I will be getting paid a large amount of money for the work I do.
3. I will probably be working with other highly educated adults. This has got to beat being a first grade teacher, or waiting tables.
4. I like science, research, development, and optimization. When I was in undergrad, a grad student in the lab where I worked told me: You would probably like grad school because you really like research. That helps me even now. I do LOVE research, and focusing on the science and how cool it is helps me like my job now, and will probably help in the future.
---------
So why do I have a photo of the guy with a power tool? Cause I learned how to drill this week! My research has required me to do a construction project and it is awesome. I am going slow (Because I have never built anything before.) But so far my project looks good and very sturdy. So I am enjoying work a ton this week.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Imagine Body Image
I felt good about my body this morning, which is probably a result of the following:a) lack of menstral cramps
b) lack of muscle soreness
c) being well rested with sleep
d) having my muscles rested as I did not exersize yesterday.
This is probably the first time all week that I have felt this positive about my physical self. Previously, I just felt rotten, but that is no longer the case.
The photos are from a UK online magazine. Now, I am aware that not everyone loves nakedness as much as I do, but I do love these photos. Primarily because it is a display of real nakedness without overt sexuality. Secondly because it shows what men want and what women want in terms of the female form. The result: Men like boobs and ass. I think I've heard this one before.Living with an extroverted man, it is unmistakable that men like boobs. I felt the need to include both photos because in the top one you can clearly see that Anna has HUGE boobs.
This intrigues me because I lack the obsession with boobs that men have. To me, they are just a reproductive organ that I have yet to use. My face and legs and hands and brain are way more important to me. My face allows me to be silently expressive, my legs get me places, and my hands do everything.
I guess that is where evolution comes in. Men like women who have curves because the curves themselves are outward signs of fertility.
Now I mentioned before that this was from a UK magazine. It got me wondering what the national averages were for The United States. The average women's size in the US is a 14, and the men's size is a 44. This is from a quick google search resulting in : Average Clothing Size is WHAT? and Wonderquest.
EDIT: Please read Peacebone's (Peaches') comment in the comments section. Tres importantes!
Monday, July 14, 2008
1 magazine you think will make you happy... but won't
I finally feel like writing, but I am not sure if I have anything to blog about... That means it is time for THE LIST!
8. Magazine Obsession
The Fourth of July marked our one year anniversary with My Coke Rewards. Last year, MCR had better prizes than they do now. Jips would get video games and we could get free Blockbuster movie rentals. But now, they have run out of all of the good prizes. Even the Women's Diet Coke tank top! I ordered one tank top to see how it would fit and I LOVED it. But then when I went back to get more, they were sold out! So Sad.
Just about the only thing that is left to get are free magazine subscriptions. So I started getting those. If we add the free magazine subscriptions to the fact that my sister gave Jips a script to GOLF, Jip's aunt gave me a script to Southern Living, and Jip's mom for an unknown reason gets Rolling Stone so she sends them to me, we now receive the following magazines:
1. Golf
2. Southern Living
3. Rolling Stone
4. Cosmo
5. Fitness
6. Redbook
7. Wired*
8. Self*
9. O, The Oprah Magazine*
Wired, Self, and O haven't come yet, but I have gotten at least one magazine from all of the others.
FUN FEARLESS FEMALE
I got a cosmo mag first. That was a huge disappointment. The first one I got was July 08, with Carrie Underwood on the cover. I had never seen her before in my life. The cover says "7 NEW ways to be happy" so I flipped to page 142. And the title of the article is actually: "7 Things You Think Will Make You Happy...but Won't." I think: I already know what does not make me happy, and I feel like there was some false advertising on the cover. I already feel like I have gotten better *happiness* advice from Penelope Trunk: Having sex more often makes you happier than having more money. This was good news for me as I have a willing husband but not alot of income. Ahem. Let's get back to cosmo, Here is the list with my comments:
1. A Ton of Cash and Luxe Stuff In the small print they tell us we need to appreciate what we have. Yes, but I knew that already. Maybe gold-diggers read cosmo and don't know that. But still if you look at a previous post, I say that I want to be rich. That is because, in our current society, money helps you get out of sticky situations. In many cases having a monumental sum in the bank gives you choices that you wouldn't have otherwise had. For me Money *grants* Freedom, and Freedom tops my list. To clarify, I want to be rich, but I don't want to live rich. I don't want anyone to know of my future money that I will have in the bank.
2. Blowout Celebrations for Major Milestones At the end of this section they tell us that routines make us happy. I am a living example of this one. I did not attend my high school graduation, needless to say I didn't have a graduation party either. Under 30 people witnessed my wedding. That includes the judge and photographer. It was romantic and casual, on our beach. I had a short dress and jips wore shorts. We ate together at a restaurant afterwards. It was great. Routines make us happy. Personally, I need so much structure I don't know if I could survive without my routines.
3. Being Upbeat 24/7 Wait, you mean having a fake bubbly personality (and pretending everything is awesome all the time) isn't actually going to make us happy on the inside? SHOCKING!
4. Reading Cosmo Right, so let's stop even talking about Cosmo.
While I was blogging about (8 Magazine Obsession) I mentioned 14. Penelope Trunk's Writing. Penelope Trunk (links above) seems like a normal person, not terribly educated, not terribly wise, but sometimes she gives good advice. Like this: close friends and family make us happier than being alone. This is true even if you get paid tons of money to be alone. She also says that we have to find out who we are and what we want and then make career choices off of that. It seems obvious, right? But it gets confusing when you get advice from people you respect but that have very different desires in life.
A professor who desires to have a successful academic career, who obviously puts her job first told me that taking off of work to stay home with my kids (for 5 plus) years is a very bad idea. The truth is that it is possible to work with a company and work part time or even full time if you are a mom. But I don't want to do that. It is incredibly hard to be a working mom when your kids are young. And I believe that I can be a better mom if I just focus on my kids.
So why am I getting a PhD in chemistry? Because I want one. Is it a waste for such an educated person to stay at home and take care of kids? Is it a waste for me to clean up poop, and make dinner for my family? No, it isn't. Because even though someone else *could* do the same job that I would do, they won't do it in the same way that I will do it.
The List
6. Black boys catcalls
7. Harlem Shakes Vampire Weekend vs Bonaroo Music Festival
9. Cake Therapy
15. Things that make me happy
16. Feeling happy vs Feeling Powerful vs Feeling Superior
17. Jips comes home
18. Flowers and Presents
8. Magazine Obsession
The Fourth of July marked our one year anniversary with My Coke Rewards. Last year, MCR had better prizes than they do now. Jips would get video games and we could get free Blockbuster movie rentals. But now, they have run out of all of the good prizes. Even the Women's Diet Coke tank top! I ordered one tank top to see how it would fit and I LOVED it. But then when I went back to get more, they were sold out! So Sad.
Just about the only thing that is left to get are free magazine subscriptions. So I started getting those. If we add the free magazine subscriptions to the fact that my sister gave Jips a script to GOLF, Jip's aunt gave me a script to Southern Living, and Jip's mom for an unknown reason gets Rolling Stone so she sends them to me, we now receive the following magazines:
1. Golf
2. Southern Living
3. Rolling Stone
4. Cosmo
5. Fitness
6. Redbook
7. Wired*
8. Self*
9. O, The Oprah Magazine*
Wired, Self, and O haven't come yet, but I have gotten at least one magazine from all of the others.
FUN FEARLESS FEMALE
I got a cosmo mag first. That was a huge disappointment. The first one I got was July 08, with Carrie Underwood on the cover. I had never seen her before in my life. The cover says "7 NEW ways to be happy" so I flipped to page 142. And the title of the article is actually: "7 Things You Think Will Make You Happy...but Won't." I think: I already know what does not make me happy, and I feel like there was some false advertising on the cover. I already feel like I have gotten better *happiness* advice from Penelope Trunk: Having sex more often makes you happier than having more money. This was good news for me as I have a willing husband but not alot of income. Ahem. Let's get back to cosmo, Here is the list with my comments:
1. A Ton of Cash and Luxe Stuff In the small print they tell us we need to appreciate what we have. Yes, but I knew that already. Maybe gold-diggers read cosmo and don't know that. But still if you look at a previous post, I say that I want to be rich. That is because, in our current society, money helps you get out of sticky situations. In many cases having a monumental sum in the bank gives you choices that you wouldn't have otherwise had. For me Money *grants* Freedom, and Freedom tops my list. To clarify, I want to be rich, but I don't want to live rich. I don't want anyone to know of my future money that I will have in the bank.
2. Blowout Celebrations for Major Milestones At the end of this section they tell us that routines make us happy. I am a living example of this one. I did not attend my high school graduation, needless to say I didn't have a graduation party either. Under 30 people witnessed my wedding. That includes the judge and photographer. It was romantic and casual, on our beach. I had a short dress and jips wore shorts. We ate together at a restaurant afterwards. It was great. Routines make us happy. Personally, I need so much structure I don't know if I could survive without my routines.
3. Being Upbeat 24/7 Wait, you mean having a fake bubbly personality (and pretending everything is awesome all the time) isn't actually going to make us happy on the inside? SHOCKING!
4. Reading Cosmo Right, so let's stop even talking about Cosmo.
While I was blogging about (8 Magazine Obsession) I mentioned 14. Penelope Trunk's Writing. Penelope Trunk (links above) seems like a normal person, not terribly educated, not terribly wise, but sometimes she gives good advice. Like this: close friends and family make us happier than being alone. This is true even if you get paid tons of money to be alone. She also says that we have to find out who we are and what we want and then make career choices off of that. It seems obvious, right? But it gets confusing when you get advice from people you respect but that have very different desires in life.
A professor who desires to have a successful academic career, who obviously puts her job first told me that taking off of work to stay home with my kids (for 5 plus) years is a very bad idea. The truth is that it is possible to work with a company and work part time or even full time if you are a mom. But I don't want to do that. It is incredibly hard to be a working mom when your kids are young. And I believe that I can be a better mom if I just focus on my kids.
So why am I getting a PhD in chemistry? Because I want one. Is it a waste for such an educated person to stay at home and take care of kids? Is it a waste for me to clean up poop, and make dinner for my family? No, it isn't. Because even though someone else *could* do the same job that I would do, they won't do it in the same way that I will do it.
The List
6. Black boys catcalls
7. Harlem Shakes Vampire Weekend vs Bonaroo Music Festival
9. Cake Therapy
15. Things that make me happy
16. Feeling happy vs Feeling Powerful vs Feeling Superior
17. Jips comes home
18. Flowers and Presents
Sunday, July 13, 2008
No sin in concession.
I found a blog today: Is there no sin in it?
that has this post:
A concession that is not a concession.
It starts out with women shaming women into wearing fashionable clothes and getting expensive haircuts. And then slides into how lonely some old sexist men are.
If you have a chance to read it, what do you think of it?
that has this post:
A concession that is not a concession.
It starts out with women shaming women into wearing fashionable clothes and getting expensive haircuts. And then slides into how lonely some old sexist men are.
If you have a chance to read it, what do you think of it?
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Sociological Images
I have gotten a HUGE amount of enjoyment from one particular blog: Sociological Images: Seeing Is Believing. I love their post called: How to Do Masculinity where after being enlightened by feminist commentary, you can find three videos: 1) How to Give a Man Hug, 2) How to Sit on a Bus, and 3) How the girls I date influence the types of boyfriends I have become-ish. I don't remember the title of the third video, can you tell? The Man Hug video wins first place, and the Girls I Date video wins second place. I don't even LIKE youtube videos, but this site has changed my mind.
One more video you should watch that I found on their site is embedded below. It is from their post: Alternative Ads. They show three videos, but I am giving you the best one: about greyhounds! Peaches, this one's for you!
Net 10 actually pisses me off if you watch all 3 ads on the Socio Images post because they act like people *even scientists* are too idiotic to call their cell phone company and tell the company what is up. Like this:
Fermi: Hello, AT&T, I need to make it so my phone is unable to receive or send text messages, and I would like to deactivate everything other than just basic calling.
AT&T: Are you sure you want to do this?
Fermi: Yes, I am sure.
AT&T: Okay, we will take care of that for you.
See how easy that was, Net 10? I bet even the non-scientists could do it!
One more video you should watch that I found on their site is embedded below. It is from their post: Alternative Ads. They show three videos, but I am giving you the best one: about greyhounds! Peaches, this one's for you!
Net 10 actually pisses me off if you watch all 3 ads on the Socio Images post because they act like people *even scientists* are too idiotic to call their cell phone company and tell the company what is up. Like this:
Fermi: Hello, AT&T, I need to make it so my phone is unable to receive or send text messages, and I would like to deactivate everything other than just basic calling.
AT&T: Are you sure you want to do this?
Fermi: Yes, I am sure.
AT&T: Okay, we will take care of that for you.
See how easy that was, Net 10? I bet even the non-scientists could do it!
Friday, June 27, 2008
Stage Right: Fermi starts typing
Five pm Friday at work. The place is pretty quiet. I decided this morning to stay until seven today because I need to get some work done. But now it is five and I am hitting my slump after being super efficient all day. It must be time to blog!
I have the list to get to, but there are some other things I wanted to write about first. Look at this. It is a blog post on Bitch PhD about pregnant women with substance abuse problems who are open to having talk therapy after their prenatal care. This is incredibly interesting to me, because (a) I am concerned about having a healthy child (in 5 years,) (b) I am interested in substance abuse in general (c) I am interested in "the placebo effect," and (d) I am interested in the benefits of talk therapy. The study was not done scientifically, but that doesn't bother me at this point because the placebo effect is all about positive thinking and interpersonal support both of which you *should* get at talk therapy sessions. A book I was reading awhile back about the possible natural evolution of religion got into the topic of the placebo effect. Basically it said that our bodies have some natural (biological) power to overcome some major obstacles when necessary. But that this power takes a substantial amount of energy and we may have evolved so that it isn't energetically favorable to summon this power unless we are in a situation where long-term survival is ensured. This situation may be when we have wholesome nurturing people caring about us. Some people have family, friends, and church members filling this role, and some people get this impression (that their therapist cares about them) from going to talk therapy. The interesting part is that the nurtured feeling you get from therapy is simulated. The therapist actually is getting paid to nurture you. But often, if you can "buy into" the therapy, the same placebo effect takes place.
What else? Skuh mentioned that she saw on my map that I had been to Iowa. I think this must be a miscommunication or I don't know my state shapes. Regardless, Skuh, I hope you have a good time on your visitation weekend. What are your grad school goals, specifically? How much will it cost? Are there any teaching fellowships you can get where you help out with some undergrad classes?
What else? Novella is touring the US and she will be stopping by where I live. How exciting is that!?
And now, I will make an attempt at THE LIST. Most of it is now *old news* in my mind because it happened last week, so this may be briefer than I originally intended.
1. Zazu Pimple
Do you remember Zazu? Or the conversation with Zazu about chocolate? Right, well it seems that Zazu just lends himself to incredible dialogue. Proceed:
Setting: Fermi and MATURE-female-undergraduate-Celery sitting at two computers in the main lab, working.
The lab door opens, Zazu enters,
Zazu (demanding): Do you have a mirror!?!?
Fermi: No.
Zazu (uncertain, finger pressing cheekbone next to temple where there is an obvious pink-under-the-skin-blemish): I think I have something on my face! Do you see anything?
Fermi (recognises what it is, but as she is uncomfortable even uttering the word "pimple" chooses to entertain a different option with her response.): Yeah, (pausing) It looks like something may have bit you.
Zazu (pressing on the blemish): It hurts when I press on it! Do you see anything, Celery?
Celery (looks, and replies matter-of-factly): Yes, it looks like you have a pimple.
Zazu (SHOCKED, UTTER DISBELIEF): But I thought you can only get pimples on your forehead!
Celery: No, you can get pimples anywhere, even on your shoulder. When you go home today, wash your face and put some acne cream on it.
Zazu: Okay.
If you didn't click over to see who Zazu is, he is in the summer between his first and second year of COLLEGE. He has previously lived under a rock. Also note: Celery's age = Zazu's age.
I am also taking the liberty to get rid of 4. Parents Visiting, because I feel that I addressed that sufficiently in my post: Oil Truth.
I feel ready to work again. That or Work-Out! Yes, I believe the second one is the key, my legs simply cannot handle sitting any longer...
------------------------------
2. Boss Anger Group Meeting Communication
3. Maru, Katu, and Arum Rae (also Jed, THE FAN)
5. Experiments working
6. Black boys catcalls
7. Harlem Shakes Vampire Weekend vs Bonaroo Music Festival
8. Magazine Obsession
9. Cake Therapy
14. Penelope Trunk's writing
15. Things that make me happy
16. Feeling happy vs Feeling Powerful vs Feeling Superior
17. Jips comes home
18. Flowers and Presents
I have the list to get to, but there are some other things I wanted to write about first. Look at this. It is a blog post on Bitch PhD about pregnant women with substance abuse problems who are open to having talk therapy after their prenatal care. This is incredibly interesting to me, because (a) I am concerned about having a healthy child (in 5 years,) (b) I am interested in substance abuse in general (c) I am interested in "the placebo effect," and (d) I am interested in the benefits of talk therapy. The study was not done scientifically, but that doesn't bother me at this point because the placebo effect is all about positive thinking and interpersonal support both of which you *should* get at talk therapy sessions. A book I was reading awhile back about the possible natural evolution of religion got into the topic of the placebo effect. Basically it said that our bodies have some natural (biological) power to overcome some major obstacles when necessary. But that this power takes a substantial amount of energy and we may have evolved so that it isn't energetically favorable to summon this power unless we are in a situation where long-term survival is ensured. This situation may be when we have wholesome nurturing people caring about us. Some people have family, friends, and church members filling this role, and some people get this impression (that their therapist cares about them) from going to talk therapy. The interesting part is that the nurtured feeling you get from therapy is simulated. The therapist actually is getting paid to nurture you. But often, if you can "buy into" the therapy, the same placebo effect takes place.
What else? Skuh mentioned that she saw on my map that I had been to Iowa. I think this must be a miscommunication or I don't know my state shapes. Regardless, Skuh, I hope you have a good time on your visitation weekend. What are your grad school goals, specifically? How much will it cost? Are there any teaching fellowships you can get where you help out with some undergrad classes?
What else? Novella is touring the US and she will be stopping by where I live. How exciting is that!?
And now, I will make an attempt at THE LIST. Most of it is now *old news* in my mind because it happened last week, so this may be briefer than I originally intended.
1. Zazu Pimple
Do you remember Zazu? Or the conversation with Zazu about chocolate? Right, well it seems that Zazu just lends himself to incredible dialogue. Proceed:
Setting: Fermi and MATURE-female-undergraduate-Celery sitting at two computers in the main lab, working.
The lab door opens, Zazu enters,
Zazu (demanding): Do you have a mirror!?!?
Fermi: No.
Zazu (uncertain, finger pressing cheekbone next to temple where there is an obvious pink-under-the-skin-blemish): I think I have something on my face! Do you see anything?
Fermi (recognises what it is, but as she is uncomfortable even uttering the word "pimple" chooses to entertain a different option with her response.): Yeah, (pausing) It looks like something may have bit you.
Zazu (pressing on the blemish): It hurts when I press on it! Do you see anything, Celery?
Celery (looks, and replies matter-of-factly): Yes, it looks like you have a pimple.
Zazu (SHOCKED, UTTER DISBELIEF): But I thought you can only get pimples on your forehead!
Celery: No, you can get pimples anywhere, even on your shoulder. When you go home today, wash your face and put some acne cream on it.
Zazu: Okay.
If you didn't click over to see who Zazu is, he is in the summer between his first and second year of COLLEGE. He has previously lived under a rock. Also note: Celery's age = Zazu's age.
I am also taking the liberty to get rid of 4. Parents Visiting, because I feel that I addressed that sufficiently in my post: Oil Truth.
I feel ready to work again. That or Work-Out! Yes, I believe the second one is the key, my legs simply cannot handle sitting any longer...
------------------------------
2. Boss Anger Group Meeting Communication
3. Maru, Katu, and Arum Rae (also Jed, THE FAN)
5. Experiments working
6. Black boys catcalls
7. Harlem Shakes Vampire Weekend vs Bonaroo Music Festival
8. Magazine Obsession
9. Cake Therapy
14. Penelope Trunk's writing
15. Things that make me happy
16. Feeling happy vs Feeling Powerful vs Feeling Superior
17. Jips comes home
18. Flowers and Presents
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Mommy Porn
Can you tell that Jips is out of town from how often I have posted today?
heh.
I just read this: mommy porn. Check it out. I loved it mainly because I know people are different and not everyone wants to stay home with their kids. At the same time, some people are totally loving and patient and want to stay at home with the young'uns.
I also hate celebs. And cosmo. Maybe I don't hate those things. Let's say I just am not the type of person to get anything out of celebrities or cosmopolitan magazines. Maybe I get something from cosmo, On the weeks I read it I have more sex than the weeks when I read science blogs. That's obvious though: If I am prompted to think about sex I will have it more often.
I bring up celebrities because of the mommy porn link (above), and why the hell do I get cosmo? Well, mycokerewards.com has shittier than ever prizes now so I just signed up for all of these magazines that I can get for free. Should I order GQ? Should I? Popular mechanics? Magazines seem like such a waste of time, especially since they are from the corporate world with all of the truthless editing.
Reading blogs on-line that are not edited by big corporations trying to sell something I find to be much more enjoyable. Which brings us to the MOMMY PORN link. I love it because it is truthful. And because I have this elaborate plan of how I will be a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) for 5-7 years and then go back to work. So what are your plans? Kids? No Kids? SAHM? working mom? How did your nanny/housekeeper thing work when you were growing up, Novella? Did the rest of you kids have SAHMs? Do you think you can do it all?
heh.
I just read this: mommy porn. Check it out. I loved it mainly because I know people are different and not everyone wants to stay home with their kids. At the same time, some people are totally loving and patient and want to stay at home with the young'uns.
I also hate celebs. And cosmo. Maybe I don't hate those things. Let's say I just am not the type of person to get anything out of celebrities or cosmopolitan magazines. Maybe I get something from cosmo, On the weeks I read it I have more sex than the weeks when I read science blogs. That's obvious though: If I am prompted to think about sex I will have it more often.
I bring up celebrities because of the mommy porn link (above), and why the hell do I get cosmo? Well, mycokerewards.com has shittier than ever prizes now so I just signed up for all of these magazines that I can get for free. Should I order GQ? Should I? Popular mechanics? Magazines seem like such a waste of time, especially since they are from the corporate world with all of the truthless editing.
Reading blogs on-line that are not edited by big corporations trying to sell something I find to be much more enjoyable. Which brings us to the MOMMY PORN link. I love it because it is truthful. And because I have this elaborate plan of how I will be a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) for 5-7 years and then go back to work. So what are your plans? Kids? No Kids? SAHM? working mom? How did your nanny/housekeeper thing work when you were growing up, Novella? Did the rest of you kids have SAHMs? Do you think you can do it all?
Sunday, June 8, 2008
1930's Wife
I think it is easier to be a husband than a wife in the 1930's.
Take the Test.
*Please Note: for both tests, I just used "significant other" instead of husband or wife*
Take the Test.
*Please Note: for both tests, I just used "significant other" instead of husband or wife*
 | 22 As a 1930s wife, I am |
 | 88 As a 1930s husband, I am |
Monday, May 19, 2008
Mouthwash for Lunch
toothpastefordinner.com
Comic from March 21, 2008 if you look in the archives:
This comic brings up two things. Feminism and the government. Lately I have been looking at alot of different blogs and I found some interesting themes:
Feminism (by anyone)
Politics (by anyone)
Teaching k-12 (by teachers)
Academic (nameless professors writing about stuff)
Mom-Blog (by moms about kids/family)
Overweight People
First of all, I don't understand why political blogs are so popular. Sure, the way our nation is run is the one thing that unites all Americans... And Politicians are our Royalty. But in my view, Political stuff is insignificant. Most of it is BS. In the end, what gives your life meaning? Is it the fact that you are a Democrat? or is it the fact that you have a great best friend and a loving partner and family that accepts you for who you are?
Next up we have Academics. I have decided that becoming a professor is essentially becoming a priest of your subject. It is a vocation, something that you devote your life to.
So are there other blog network titles? If so, what are they???
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Career Girls! How Exciting!
The top and bottom images of this post are from the same game (see below) What Shall I Be? The Exciting Game of Career Girls.
I initially notice the following:
1) All of the Career Girls are wearing skirts.
2) All of the Career Girls are white.
3) The wording "Career Girls" suggests that working is not the default position of women.
4) The wording "Career Girls" to me suggests child labor. But really what is being depicted are women's career choices, perhaps "Girls" is used to suggest that women are dependent like children.
5) Board Game Designer is not one of the Career Choices for Girls. (Read: Boys in power are promoting the stereotype.)
6) Career Girls can Entertain: Model, Actress, Ballet Dancer.
7) Career Girls can Serve: Airline Waitress, Nurse, Teacher.
8) My generation did not grow up with this game. I thank the feminists.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Goal 1: Relaxation
Sybil Vane is a new contributor at Bitch PhD. Bitch was smart to add her. Sybil is very good and young which I like. Her most recent post is about collectives and feminism and the lack of identification with the feminist movement. I spent the majority of my morning so far reading the comments to the post and visiting the commenter's blogs. I happened upon some blogs by women science professors. Those blogs linked to other blogs by women in science. I really tried to explore the blogs but found them VERY uninteresting. I know I am making the right choice to NOT go into academia.
Now I am inclined to re-evaluate my life strategy at 3 different stages of my life:
(1) Before Oral Exam: Run away from everything unpleasant.
(2) Oral Exam/G-skoo in general: Jump though the hoops and face the problems: act like a tiger.
(3) After passing all qualifiers: Run away! Run away!
Once I accomplish Goal 1: Relaxation, my next major goal will be to meet with my boss and discuss my path to graduation. This will be a 2 to 3 year path but I want to have it mapped out specifically so that I can see my progress. Meeting with my boss is something that will stress me out so I will probably meet with Red-Haired-Ashely for some advice on how to do this. She is at the end of her 4th year and has recently established a wonderful working relationship with her boss via very productive meetings about progress. *vomit* My excellent grip on reality makes it very clear that my boss (in his present and probably eternal state of being) is unable to have wonderful relationships of any sort. This being said, I hope that meeting with my boss will ensure prompt graduation, although my hopes do not extend to the development of any sort of relationship.
Onto Goal 1: Relaxation. This is hard for me, but clearly a necessity. To accomplish Relaxation, heh, I plan to blog, (check), lay out by the pool, (to which Jips said: That doesn't sound like Fermi!), and hang out with dogs.
I hung out with dogs a bit this morning. They are in the usual spring shedding process. I was scratching the rump of Dog 2, and hairs flew out into the air. It was so visible in the sunlight I was reminded of the Peanuts character who always had a cloud of dust around him. Was it Linus? I sat on the floor to pet the dogs because Dog 1 is having inflamed back disks again. The vet said we might have to have surgery if it happens again in 3 months, because Dog 1 is so young (5 yrs) and this has already happened twice. So Dog 1 is on steroids which cause him to pee and poop in the house even more than usual. And Dog 2 has been vomiting and farting TONS and TONS so our living/dining/kitchen room now is 90% urine smelling and 10% Dog 2 specialty-fart smelling. I sat on the floor because Dog 1 is not supposed to jump on the furniture with his back being bad, but he still does as often as he likes.
All of this: the dog hair, urine, and farting, compels me to clean the house. But that is in direct opposition to Goal 1: Relaxation. Fuck.
The same guy on the plane (mentioned in the last post) said to me: "You're Type A, aren't you?" I said, "I can see how I could be perceived in that way." While in my mind I thought: Who the hell are you to say I am Type A, you don't even know me, or anything about me! So I told my therapist about the previous conversation and she laughed and said I was Type A Plus. Extreme Type A. Both the therapist's confirmation and the plane guy got me thinking about how my graduate program is essentially a cult of Type A personality. There is a great deal of value-judgment based on how much and how hard you work. There are non-type A's, but these people (example: Chip) focus almost all of their energy on trying to appear to be working all of the time. The sad thing is that I felt the best about myself when I was prepping for my oral exam and at work all of the time. I really felt superior then. Which is fucked up because people who work all the time are not superior, they are just work-a-holics. And why do I care about being superior anyway? I just need to focus on being me.
It is scary how easily I can revert back to my factory settings. I was raised with the question: What did you DO today? which implied that the more accomplished = a better day. I went to alot of therapy in High School to change my focus to balance and peace. And now, I find myself in the position where I am surrounded by a small group of people whose default settings are like my own. And it was SO EASY to slip back into them. It is scary how easy it was.
This week I found myself in tears, because I lost who I was, and I lost who Jips and I were together. I was only my work. I am ready to be a stay-at-home mom TODAY. maybe that thought is inspiring my Goal 2: Meet with my Boss to insure a prompt graduation.
So the path back to Fermi starts through Goal 1: Relaxation. Even if I have to drag myself kicking and screaming to get there.
Now I am inclined to re-evaluate my life strategy at 3 different stages of my life:
(1) Before Oral Exam: Run away from everything unpleasant.
(2) Oral Exam/G-skoo in general: Jump though the hoops and face the problems: act like a tiger.
(3) After passing all qualifiers: Run away! Run away!
Once I accomplish Goal 1: Relaxation, my next major goal will be to meet with my boss and discuss my path to graduation. This will be a 2 to 3 year path but I want to have it mapped out specifically so that I can see my progress. Meeting with my boss is something that will stress me out so I will probably meet with Red-Haired-Ashely for some advice on how to do this. She is at the end of her 4th year and has recently established a wonderful working relationship with her boss via very productive meetings about progress. *vomit* My excellent grip on reality makes it very clear that my boss (in his present and probably eternal state of being) is unable to have wonderful relationships of any sort. This being said, I hope that meeting with my boss will ensure prompt graduation, although my hopes do not extend to the development of any sort of relationship.
Onto Goal 1: Relaxation. This is hard for me, but clearly a necessity. To accomplish Relaxation, heh, I plan to blog, (check), lay out by the pool, (to which Jips said: That doesn't sound like Fermi!), and hang out with dogs.
I hung out with dogs a bit this morning. They are in the usual spring shedding process. I was scratching the rump of Dog 2, and hairs flew out into the air. It was so visible in the sunlight I was reminded of the Peanuts character who always had a cloud of dust around him. Was it Linus? I sat on the floor to pet the dogs because Dog 1 is having inflamed back disks again. The vet said we might have to have surgery if it happens again in 3 months, because Dog 1 is so young (5 yrs) and this has already happened twice. So Dog 1 is on steroids which cause him to pee and poop in the house even more than usual. And Dog 2 has been vomiting and farting TONS and TONS so our living/dining/kitchen room now is 90% urine smelling and 10% Dog 2 specialty-fart smelling. I sat on the floor because Dog 1 is not supposed to jump on the furniture with his back being bad, but he still does as often as he likes.
All of this: the dog hair, urine, and farting, compels me to clean the house. But that is in direct opposition to Goal 1: Relaxation. Fuck.
The same guy on the plane (mentioned in the last post) said to me: "You're Type A, aren't you?" I said, "I can see how I could be perceived in that way." While in my mind I thought: Who the hell are you to say I am Type A, you don't even know me, or anything about me! So I told my therapist about the previous conversation and she laughed and said I was Type A Plus. Extreme Type A. Both the therapist's confirmation and the plane guy got me thinking about how my graduate program is essentially a cult of Type A personality. There is a great deal of value-judgment based on how much and how hard you work. There are non-type A's, but these people (example: Chip) focus almost all of their energy on trying to appear to be working all of the time. The sad thing is that I felt the best about myself when I was prepping for my oral exam and at work all of the time. I really felt superior then. Which is fucked up because people who work all the time are not superior, they are just work-a-holics. And why do I care about being superior anyway? I just need to focus on being me.
It is scary how easily I can revert back to my factory settings. I was raised with the question: What did you DO today? which implied that the more accomplished = a better day. I went to alot of therapy in High School to change my focus to balance and peace. And now, I find myself in the position where I am surrounded by a small group of people whose default settings are like my own. And it was SO EASY to slip back into them. It is scary how easy it was.
This week I found myself in tears, because I lost who I was, and I lost who Jips and I were together. I was only my work. I am ready to be a stay-at-home mom TODAY. maybe that thought is inspiring my Goal 2: Meet with my Boss to insure a prompt graduation.
So the path back to Fermi starts through Goal 1: Relaxation. Even if I have to drag myself kicking and screaming to get there.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Fight to the death: Feminism vs Zitizen
A Photo of Traffic, by Fermi 
I was inspired by booton's engagement photo. (below)
At first I didn't even know that was you!
I was inspired by booton's engagement photo. (below)Every once in awhile I decide that I want to become famous on the internet. Then I try to become famous, and I don't actually make it. Now is one of those times. I should be smarter than this. Fame is so shallow. It doesn't matter. My real personal relationships matter, exercising matters, dogs matter. Ugh. Maybe it was the Immatrex I took this morning for my migraine. Those always put me in a crappy mood. Or maybe because my face is breaking out: I have two "problems." Probably from eating nothing but pizza for the past 3 days. Anyway, normally I look in the mirror and think "I am gorgeous!" But when I have a "bad face day" I CANNOT handle it. I CANNOT. I feel like a second class citizen. A zitizen if you will.
Changing the subject now... AHEM.
One of my favorite blogs is A Prolific Squalor. Every weekday you get a snippet of an IM conversation. Kind of like being in high school. Sometimes I wish I had cool IM conversations like that. All of mine go like this:
Me: When do you want to leave work today?
Jips: I don't know.
Me: How about 8
Jips: Okay see you then.
Me: bye
Jips: bye
Pretty Dull.
I found out about Prolific Squalor from another blog: Bitch PhD. I pretty much find out about everything cool from her. A recent post by M. Leblanc is about menstruating. It has a link to a photographer's site. Anyway they are pretty much all about feminism over there. Feminism is a topic I have been thinking more about lately. Mostly because of Women In Chemistry (WIC) I guess. I was doing a Google search for women chemists with PhDs who took years off of work to be stay at home moms while their children were small. I didn't find any... but I found bitch's blog.
As Co-Chair of WIC it is my job to get speakers to come have lunch with our group. Most speakers are really hard-core work-a-holic types who don't spend much time with their children. And the topic "work life balance" always comes up. The funny thing is that all of the speakers (the successful, established Women Chemists) all basically say that work-life-balance is good, but that they didn't have any.
We have yet to find a woman with a PhD in Chemistry who was a stay at home mom for several years and then went back to work. It will be very difficult to get a job after being out of the workforce for 5 or 7 years while your kids are small. We know that. We want to hear how it is done.
After my Oral Exam I went to Barns and Nobles to get a book to read "for fun." That is one of the things I miss the most: reading for fun. I just read so much for work now, and additional reading is less important than walking the dogs or cleaning up the kitchen. I didn't see anything great fiction-wise (I will take recommendations) but I did see this book: The Female Brain. It has mixed reviews on Amazon, and I stopped before I read about menopause, etc. But it was interesting. It had this part about some parents who were careful to get trans-gender toys for their daughter. One of them was a big red firetruck. And the dad walked up once and saw the girl holding the firetruck wrapped in a blanket like a baby talking to it. The point being that the girl formed a relationship with the firetruck because girls are biologically more into relationships than boys. Cute, huh?
It is easy to argue against [anything]/[all of what is] written in the Female Brain simply because looking at females as different biological beings than males is still new. And behavioral studies take a long time to do. Whatever. It is an interesting read. At least the first couple of chapters. Then it gets a bit repetitive.
The End.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
what little girls are made of
This entry is in response to Tino’s “Sugar and Spice.”
I’ll start with Power. Currently we live in a white male dominated society. Old white men hold the power in (for example) the Academy: currently they run almost every department. Old white men are usually more sexist than the majority of the population, and I have a general dislike for their lack of emotional enlightenment. If I could get away with never speaking to one of these gentlemen again, I would. But that is not the case. I have to learn to deal with them until that generation dies off. These guys do have the power, but I want nothing to do with them because I have judged them to be underdeveloped. I don’t give a shit if they think I am attractive or not, and I would rather if they kept that opinion to themselves anyway.
Summary: Old white dudes have power. I hate them.
But what about guys in my age group? As a whole, I have been generally unimpressed with them as well. Most of them fail in one or more of these categories: intelligence, self-awareness, balance, kindness, self-discipline, integrity, social skills, compassion, and self-motivation. So what do I think when I see the pretty but otherwise uninteresting blond falling all over some guy? I think: Those are two hormonal kids.
Am I scraping for power from these guys that are less developed than me? Hells No! I have way more power than them to begin with. They might be able to bench press more than me, or run faster, but that doesn’t matter right now. These are not the cave man days where we have to hunt buffalo on foot, and we have to rely on men because they can run fast. These are the times where education will let you get ahead, that and being smart, socially smart, politically smart, etc. I was told yesterday that most men are intimidated by a woman with a PhD. And to that I say: That’s because those guys don’t have their act together.
Do I feel like I am in competition with other women? No. Because if a guy can’t see that I am the most incredibly awesome person in the world, then he does not have his shit together, I guarantee you. It takes an enlightened person to recognize one.
Under “Competition with other women” you will find: fashion rules, how-to-act rules, etc. And I say: Fuck Your Rules. I make my own.
And Tino, I am sorry that you find it difficult to function in female relationships. I don’t know the whole story here, but I bet that those difficult female relationships were with some chicks who didn’t have their shit together.
Catty Chicks = Unenlightened idiots.
And girls that are only friends with guys have other issues all together.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Sugar and Spice - like nutmeg, but not cayenne, right?
I'm intrigued anytime I feel a sense of true support from other ladies. This blog is interesting in that we've come together as a group to share and express, and there is a very non-competitive vibe that is worth noting. Probably since the age of eight when I started to have my first unhealthy relationships with other girls, I've been interested in the question of why we--as a gender--are always in competition with each other and why it's difficult to function in female relationships. And most of us live our lives trying NOT to be called a bitch or a ho (the fact that everyone is so ready to call a girl that is a whole other social problem).
For starters, I have feminist ideals, and I hate gender stereotypes and restrictive ideas about gender roles. I fucking hate the toy store for this: everything separated into girl toys and boy toys. At little toddlers' birthday parties, people get the kids things according to the kid's gender and start saying things like, "Ooh, he's gonna be a big football player when he gets older!" or "She's going to be a ballerina one day!"
Is it really that much of a stretch that a girl might want to play with the tool bench or a basketball? Is it ridiculous to think a little boy might want to take care of a little animal or a baby doll? (Of course then everyone will call him gay for being a nice human being. And what about gay and transgender kids? But I digress.) How will these kids even know what they like if they can't even choose what they're interested in?
The bigger question is: when I have kids, how do I let my kids choose their own passions in such a prescribed setting? And then people give you that look like you're such a weirdo and you're just mad at society "for no reason" and "just face it: little girls like pink, and little boys like guns. They're born that way." I don't buy into that. "Human nature" is such a big, vague, blanket excuse for things that have social explanations.
(note: I have personally worn tutus and pointe shoes and loved it--I am not the least bit against traditional feminine images in themselves. But my dad played baseball with me as a kid, too, and I never would have know I was a strong hitter if he'd assumed I could only be a dancer.)
But I'm getting ahead of myself here. I went to a birthday party for my BF's nephew who was turning one. He pretty much just likes colors. It was hard to find something that wasn't over-the-top hetero-boy. We settled for a fuzzy book about animals and a pound-shapes-into-holes-with-a-hammer game. Last year for his brother, we found a picnic set of fake food and plates and such--who doesn't like fake food?
So without much elegance, back to my orignal point (it will tie-in, I swear): people like to say girls are "naturally" catty, or women can't be friends with other women, or girls have "cat fights" because they just can't help themselves. I read a book once that proposed that the reason these stereotypes exist is because women really do compete heavily with each other and we're pretty threatened by other women because we are in the less-powerful gender category and we're scraping for power from the male group. I like this theory--it makes sense. For example: we compete for guys to think we're the most beautiful. Attention from them means power-by-proxy for us. Or some girls say, "I hate girls--they're so catty," to pretend to be one of the guys so that she may reap they benefits of feeling the power that guys feel.
BUT--the good news is that we can truly band together and have power through support and cooperation, of course. But this is more difficult than it sounds: when some pretty but otherwise uninteresting blond is throwing herself at some guy, would you talk shit about her? Or would you respond with a feeling of care like you wanted to help her lift herself up instead of searching for power in un-empowering ways? Would you be able to see all other females as part of your team and deserving of love and support? That's hard and pretty counter-intuitive for me based on the habits I've formed my whole life.
And as a supplement to my point, I'd like to add that guys have their own issues to work out with their gender role stereotypes (i.e., too much focus on physical strength and the ability to compete and be aggressive). Oh, and I do believe that race and sexual orientation affects gender roles and where you are in the social hierarchy of things. I'd love to hear a gay or non-white female perspective on all of this.
So anyway, this blog=cool ladies.
For starters, I have feminist ideals, and I hate gender stereotypes and restrictive ideas about gender roles. I fucking hate the toy store for this: everything separated into girl toys and boy toys. At little toddlers' birthday parties, people get the kids things according to the kid's gender and start saying things like, "Ooh, he's gonna be a big football player when he gets older!" or "She's going to be a ballerina one day!"
Is it really that much of a stretch that a girl might want to play with the tool bench or a basketball? Is it ridiculous to think a little boy might want to take care of a little animal or a baby doll? (Of course then everyone will call him gay for being a nice human being. And what about gay and transgender kids? But I digress.) How will these kids even know what they like if they can't even choose what they're interested in?
The bigger question is: when I have kids, how do I let my kids choose their own passions in such a prescribed setting? And then people give you that look like you're such a weirdo and you're just mad at society "for no reason" and "just face it: little girls like pink, and little boys like guns. They're born that way." I don't buy into that. "Human nature" is such a big, vague, blanket excuse for things that have social explanations.
(note: I have personally worn tutus and pointe shoes and loved it--I am not the least bit against traditional feminine images in themselves. But my dad played baseball with me as a kid, too, and I never would have know I was a strong hitter if he'd assumed I could only be a dancer.)
But I'm getting ahead of myself here. I went to a birthday party for my BF's nephew who was turning one. He pretty much just likes colors. It was hard to find something that wasn't over-the-top hetero-boy. We settled for a fuzzy book about animals and a pound-shapes-into-holes-with-a-hammer game. Last year for his brother, we found a picnic set of fake food and plates and such--who doesn't like fake food?
So without much elegance, back to my orignal point (it will tie-in, I swear): people like to say girls are "naturally" catty, or women can't be friends with other women, or girls have "cat fights" because they just can't help themselves. I read a book once that proposed that the reason these stereotypes exist is because women really do compete heavily with each other and we're pretty threatened by other women because we are in the less-powerful gender category and we're scraping for power from the male group. I like this theory--it makes sense. For example: we compete for guys to think we're the most beautiful. Attention from them means power-by-proxy for us. Or some girls say, "I hate girls--they're so catty," to pretend to be one of the guys so that she may reap they benefits of feeling the power that guys feel.
BUT--the good news is that we can truly band together and have power through support and cooperation, of course. But this is more difficult than it sounds: when some pretty but otherwise uninteresting blond is throwing herself at some guy, would you talk shit about her? Or would you respond with a feeling of care like you wanted to help her lift herself up instead of searching for power in un-empowering ways? Would you be able to see all other females as part of your team and deserving of love and support? That's hard and pretty counter-intuitive for me based on the habits I've formed my whole life.
And as a supplement to my point, I'd like to add that guys have their own issues to work out with their gender role stereotypes (i.e., too much focus on physical strength and the ability to compete and be aggressive). Oh, and I do believe that race and sexual orientation affects gender roles and where you are in the social hierarchy of things. I'd love to hear a gay or non-white female perspective on all of this.
So anyway, this blog=cool ladies.
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