Grad School or Grocery Bagger?

I didn't blog much last week because I was too busy waking up at an ungodly hour - walking to the train - taking the train downtown - and walking to school. Reverse and repeat for the way home. I thought that getting to work early would be good because I wouldn't get as sweaty on my way in. But I was wrong. Getting to work early is NOT good, (sans good.) I was overly tired all day which made me want to nap in the evening rather than walk the dogs, workout, spend time with the husband, or do any housework. Jips even said to me that early work might not be good because "the house and I need you." And it is so. Early work is not good. Eventually I bet I could get used to the hours, but then there is the problem of my obsessions. I cannot bring myself to leave work early even if I get there early. I just want to finish what I am working on, and it doesn't seem so bad to leave at the normal time, right?



Speaking of work, Mrs. Smoltz and I had dinner yesterday. She showed me that we make the same amount of money as someone who dropped out of high school and is bagging groceries at wall mart.* Damn. But then I say that we are getting paid to get an education and we will be making tons more than the wall mart bagger once we get out. And some people in grad school don't get paid. In our program, in science, they have to pay us something. Otherwise the graduation rate would be 5% rather than the 50% it is now. We have to put up with alot of shit. Maybe it is like that in every program, and maybe not.



Jips is our program's grad student president. That means he has meetings with the "popular" kids on the grad student council and he attends faculty meetings. The popular kids in grad school act like high schoolers. All they do is complain about how they don't get enough money for alcohol for their parties. Faculty meetings are full of professors complaining about email server changes and acting as obnoxious as possible. The Academic World is not the real world. Or maybe it is. What do I know?



Am I ranting? I need to do some cardio. I haven't worked out since Tuesday and I can tell. My muscles scream to me that they want to be worked.



Last week I decided I would try to eat healthier. I made some split pea soup and bought some raw spinach. I made "spinach salad" which means Spinach (80%), Greek Vinaigrette (10%), and Feta Cheese Chunks (10%). I was afraid of the split pea soup, but it isn't painful to eat, just a bit hum-drum. Finally, Frozen blueberries, Vanilla Light N Fit Dannon Yogurt, and Kashi Go Lean Crunch cereal on top. I thought it was good the first time I ate it. Now I am of the opinion that health food tastes like crap.


What did Jips get me for my birthday? Diamond Earrings. Yes. I know, he did well. They are special posts with screw on backs so that they won't fall out. Growing up I was not one of those girly-girls that was all about expensive jewelry. But the best husband in the world likes to give me pretty things. :) I bet I can adapt.

I leave you with the best political YouTube video yet.

* It is interesting that we make the same amount because Jips's maw-maw said that he could bag groceries when he decided to quit his first graduate program.

Imagine Body Image

I felt good about my body this morning, which is probably a result of the following:
a) lack of menstral cramps
b) lack of muscle soreness
c) being well rested with sleep
d) having my muscles rested as I did not exersize yesterday.

This is probably the first time all week that I have felt this positive about my physical self. Previously, I just felt rotten, but that is no longer the case.

The photos are from a UK online magazine. Now, I am aware that not everyone loves nakedness as much as I do, but I do love these photos. Primarily because it is a display of real nakedness without overt sexuality. Secondly because it shows what men want and what women want in terms of the female form. The result: Men like boobs and ass. I think I've heard this one before.

Living with an extroverted man, it is unmistakable that men like boobs. I felt the need to include both photos because in the top one you can clearly see that Anna has HUGE boobs.

This intrigues me because I lack the obsession with boobs that men have. To me, they are just a reproductive organ that I have yet to use. My face and legs and hands and brain are way more important to me. My face allows me to be silently expressive, my legs get me places, and my hands do everything.

I guess that is where evolution comes in. Men like women who have curves because the curves themselves are outward signs of fertility.

Now I mentioned before that this was from a UK magazine. It got me wondering what the national averages were for The United States. The average women's size in the US is a 14, and the men's size is a 44. This is from a quick google search resulting in : Average Clothing Size is WHAT? and Wonderquest.

EDIT: Please read Peacebone's (Peaches') comment in the comments section. Tres importantes!

my ass feels like i'm gonna die

make that my ass and back and shoulders.

On Monday, I did a wee bit too much of teh exercise.
Today I took a nap.

Earlier today I felt like quitting graduate school. Not only am I completely disillusioned with Academia, but I also feel that I lack the enthusiasm I once had for my subject. Now, there is a possibility that this disregard for my work stems from my overall state of being sleep deprived and sore. While there exists an equal likelihood that my spiritless state has arisen from the purgatory known as My Graduate Program.

I fantasize about being a stay at home mom. I daydream of having four kids. (In reality, I know we will probably end up with 2.)

Postsecret from Sunday:

I am weary of this stage of my life.

Wednesday's Workout

*This post is in response to Tino's post below*

How It Started

I started running in 5th grade. I'm not sure why. Maybe because my parents were always running or walking or roller-blade-ing. I decided to run one mile every day for 100 days. We had a treadmill at our house at the time so that made it easy to do even if it was raining outside. And I did it. At the end of the 100 days I ran a 10K.

In 5th-8th grade, one mile turned into two miles a day, and I think in 8th grade I started running 3 on occasion. My older sister informed me that if I was going to run cross-country in High School, 3 miles would be the norm for a "practice." I upped it to 3.

Let's not even talk about High School. My calves are still fucked up from all of the running I did then. My family joined That Awesome Health Club when I was in HS. That was good for me because I started doing some weights. I attended Body Pump classes which are classes based on choreographed music that you lift weights to in a group with an instructor. The music changes but they all have this format:

Track 1: Warm Up
Track 2: Squats
Track 3: Chest
Track 4: Back
Track 5: Biceps
Track 6: Triceps
Track 7: Lunges
Track 8: Shoulders
Then 15 minutes of ab work.

Do I have the order wrong? It has been so long I don't remember now.
Here are Two Body Pump Links: Tracklist site 1, Tracklist site 2

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And Why It Continues
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That is basically my entry into exercise. Running was a great release for me. I have always been excellent at channeling my anger. It flowed from my body into my thighs and stayed there until I ran it out. I needed to run. I was addicted to it.

Body Pump was magical. It was a great activity for me because the classes were almost like being sociable, but I didn't have to talk to anyone. I just have my spot and do the routine. The next day my body is sore in new places, and I love it. I feel my muscles and become aware that I have them. Stretching feels sooooo good! Throughout the day I move, stretch, and dance. I cannot wait for the next class.

And that is why I continue to exercise. I do cardio for emotional release. Without cardio I become depressed. I cry, sleep, and stare off into space. My body stops moving.

I do weights for the powerful feeling I get during the workout and for the great feeling of being sore the next day. Weights allow me to celebrate my body. The next day I move slightly and I feel my muscles moving. I stretch and feel like the most stunning of creatures (even though I look just like a normal person stretching.)

Amazon, get your shit together and send me my DVDs!

I purchased this DVD tonight from Best Buy. And I had to try it out immediately. Last Saturday I ordered 4 DVDs from Amazon and they still haven't arrived! Sure, I picked *super saver shipping* but usually I still get my goods in two days.

Workout DVDs are an interesting genre: Jane Fonda, Richard Simmons, Tae Bo. Yeah, remember Tae Bo? We used to do that in High School P.E.

So I did this DVD. The 40 minutes flew by, which was good. I think in the future I will skip the flail your arms and legs in a hard to follow pattern (warm up) section. I need these DVDs now because I don't have the flexibility in my schedule to attend workout classes, and it has been long enough past my last body pump class (6 years) where I have lost all motivation doing those workouts on my own. If I manage to pick up weights, I talk myself out of it after five minutes.

This way, when I have a video, I can do the fucking video whether I like it or not. I can write down on my calendar that I did "the video" and that will mean something more concrete than an attempt at weights. This will be good I think. The video itself is pretty basic, but basic moves are way better than the nothing I was doing previously.