inside joke

You're drunk and acting tough.

I'm a quitter. By Natalie Dee.

I quit blogging. and more importantly - I quit grad school.

It was really more of a damage control thing than anything else... But I can get into that later.

the important thing - is that I am now a scientist for a Fortune 500 company making consumer products - which is where I always wanted to end up - and i have arrived.

My life is infinitely better than it was in graduate school. I am amazed at this - at the fact that your environment can influence you that much. I had always been of the mindset that who I am internally has more influence on me than my surroundings... but I guess I can see that both matter to some extent.

I also have a new belief in Luck. In graduate school I was unlucky and unsuccessful. I also think that the professors that I worked for are dumb. Now, I find myself in a new situation, still working out new technology, but I am already wildly successful. It has got to be luck that I have ended up here - and that the senior scientist that I am working with is smart. Smarter than most of the professors I knew in graduate school.

And although I have been away from blogging on the internet, I have still been on the internet.

This video by Alain De Botton (scroll to the end of the post) resonated with me.

Leaving my program with out a Ph.D. was hard for my identity. So much of who I was- was wrapped up in getting a PhD and staying in graduate school at all costs.

It was easy for me to physically leave - because I have this gift of seeing the truth of situations - and I knew I was being forced out.

And the most important thing I learned in graduate school is that a Ph.D. doesn't mean anything. Lazy idiots can have them, hard working idiots can have them, etc. It doesn't even distinguish if you can think or not.

My manager said to me about me "she acts like she has a PhD" meaning I can think, and come up with new technologies, and design experiments, etc. I just don't have the stamp.

(And for the record, yes I did leave with a Masters, but it is still quitting in my eyes.)

Hello again, blogging world.

WTF revisited

While I wait for my plates to dry, an update.

Remember WTF Katu WTF ? Right. Thank you for your comments. It turns out that she probably is competitive and definitely insecure. Take this example:

(Paragraph 3)
On Friday I had a lunch with a faculty member who is on both of our committees. This faculty member is female, thin, blond, stylish, smart, and put together -- and not afraid to let you know it. She has high standards for herself and for students in general. She is easily disappointed by students' lack of knowledge or hard work.

Now, I adore this faculty member; she is someone I would like to become one day (maybe.) Every time we meet, I leave energized and certain that I will become a great scientist. On top of that-- she likes me-- I know this to the 99% confidence level. After my oral exam I suggested to her that I relearn all of my sophomore organic chemistry and have an additional oral exam with her on the organic just for self respect because I was shaky on my organic in my oral exam. What a nerd I am, right? Actually the problem was that I suggested this when I was high on learning-- not in my right mind. But I ended up following through and she was impressed-- but more important than impressing her - this act- unknown to me at the time- allowed me to transition into my current group easily where previous to my relearning of organic - I would not have considered it.

So I send the email to my committee about my group change and she asks me to have lunch. I look forward to this- and talking to PizzaPan in the lab- I mention it because normally on Friday I have lunch with Jips (husband) but this Friday I wasn't.

Katu gets word from PizzaPan that I am having lunch with the committee member - and she asks about it and mentions that she would be scared or nervous because the faculty member is intimidating for all of the reasons in Paragraph 3 (see above.) But I tell Katu- but you are smart and beautiful and put together, too, so its okay. But Katu doesn't feel that way- and is concerned that prof doesn't either. -- And so we have Katu's insecurity rise to the surface.

And for this I feel bad. Katu's mother pretty much deserted her family when she was young- and that may have an affect on her- but she had a great father and everyone has problems... And her problems don't excuse her rudeness or passive dismissal of our friendship. Still her insecurity makes her human and I cannot be upset with someone I have compassion for.

So I felt bad about bashing her in my blog- I'm sorry Katu. That was Friday. But today- I don't feel bad about it.

The think about Katu and the 4th grader in the post below (by Skuh) is that they care about what is cool... And to that I say BAH. Being kind to other people is more important that being cool yourself.

The End.

Sociological Images

I have gotten a HUGE amount of enjoyment from one particular blog: Sociological Images: Seeing Is Believing. I love their post called: How to Do Masculinity where after being enlightened by feminist commentary, you can find three videos: 1) How to Give a Man Hug, 2) How to Sit on a Bus, and 3) How the girls I date influence the types of boyfriends I have become-ish. I don't remember the title of the third video, can you tell? The Man Hug video wins first place, and the Girls I Date video wins second place. I don't even LIKE youtube videos, but this site has changed my mind.

One more video you should watch that I found on their site is embedded below. It is from their post: Alternative Ads. They show three videos, but I am giving you the best one: about greyhounds! Peaches, this one's for you!



Net 10 actually pisses me off if you watch all 3 ads on the Socio Images post because they act like people *even scientists* are too idiotic to call their cell phone company and tell the company what is up. Like this:
Fermi: Hello, AT&T, I need to make it so my phone is unable to receive or send text messages, and I would like to deactivate everything other than just basic calling.
AT&T: Are you sure you want to do this?
Fermi: Yes, I am sure.
AT&T: Okay, we will take care of that for you.

See how easy that was, Net 10? I bet even the non-scientists could do it!

Rough Night

My co-workers and I happened upon this slumbering woman last night in the restroom of the Loews Kips Bay movie theater. Rough night, Miss?