Tuesday, February 26, 2008

don't tell the principal

Well, I don't do it often, but I'm blogging from school. It is because I have a problem and need help. In the worst way.

I cannot find a good deodorant.

What do I mean by good?

  • prevents some (not necessarily all) sweat
  • covers some stank
  • does not get all crusty and disgusting on clothes (I am a big proponent for re-wearing stuff)
  • does not make my armpits feel like they are coated with Elmer's Glue at the end of the day and make me scrub them ragged with the shower poof

I just bought some Dove unscented on Sunday and it does not pass the test for bulleted point 2. Good thing I have some body spray at school because dang, I smell like one of those boys I teach. Ok, not really . . . at least I hope not.

Also, I am wearing white pants after labor day. When does that start over? The weather is getting up to high 60s/70s during the day so even though it's still February, I say they're ok.

I need to be working on grad school apps but (of course) it's the last thing I want to do. Here's what I really want to say.

Tell us how you think a grad degree in (random liberal arts field) would help to advance your intellectual and career goals?

"I really think that a grad degree would allow me to get more poontang. Lol! Rolf! For real though: I think 100,000 dollars of student loans would really add to my understanding of the world on a more critical level. I also like to hang out with indecisive but ambitious drunks. The end. Gtg."

Later taters.


Meeleez said...

I don't care to count the number of times I have found myself in the same deodorant boat. For about a year, I wore men's deodorant to try to accomplish all of those same requirements and avoid smelling like the tampon aisle at walmart. Is it entirely necessary for tampons and deodorant to have the same fabulous fragrance?? Gross.

Anyway, I am currently a Dove fan. You might want to try one of the tampon scented varieties to try to accomplish goal #2, rather than the unscented one. And while it sucks to smell like a tampon all day, it beats smelling like teenage boys.

Peacebone said...

I've only used scented tampons once, when the packaging was in a different language and I actually really liked the scent. I wish I could find deodorant that had "Spanish tampon scent" on them.

Tino said...

Guys, scented tampons? Think about this for a second: should your vaginal walls smell like freesia? "Peacebone" and I have already talked about this, but I'll say it anyway--Gyno health 101: the vagina is a self cleansing organ with it's own bacterial balance. Soaps, scents, and douches throw that shit off and could cause irritation and yeast infections. I really did see some lady buying strawberry douche at Wal-Mart. Don't trust the "lady hygiene" companys.

Deo: I hate to break to you, but it's all about Old Spice Cool Blast (non-antiperspirant). If you apply it more than once a day, you'll smell androgenously shower-fresh and your armpits won't be gunky. But everyone's different.

Tino said...

Oh wait, correction:
*SMOOTH blast.