this I know ... for the Bible tells me so

Can you see this dead baby bird? He is really small. (You can tell because of the size of the blades of grass.) I found him on a dog walk because Dog 2 pooped right next to him! I think dead birds are really neat because you can finally see them up close. I just thought I would share.

Jips and I saw Horton Hears a Who last weekend. It was very well done, I recommend that everyone go to see it.

The main message of the film was this: If you believe in something you should say what you believe and stick to it. When the situation arises where Authority and/or The Masses give you the choice of
(a) sticking to your belief and facing persecution
or
(b) denying your belief
you should choose (a). I found this message to be very disturbing. I know that the message has the best of intentions but I believe that there are cases where you should take choice (b) and deny your belief. The film's message is too black and white, and in real life, gray will get you further.

Example 1.0 : Let's assume you believe your boss is an immoral idiot, but the boss likes you. It is smarter to not tell anyone what you really think of your boss.

Maybe that isn't the exact same type of case.

Example 2.0: Let's say you are a young girl in Bible school. You believe that Jesus is a hoax. The teacher wants everyone to sing Jesus Loves Me. You could (a) throw a fit, cry, etc. refuse to sing because Jesus is fake and the Bible school teacher is trying to trick everyone, or you could (b) sing the song.

In my experience, singing Jesus Loves Me went against what was in my heart, but it would have been a smarter political move than crying and telling my Bible school teacher that I hated her because she was trying to trick me into believing in Jesus.

So how should we choose our battles as adults? How many things can we lie to Authority about before we start to become the person we are pretending to be? Is this the start of a double life? Or is it just what normal people do all the time?

A Different Kind of Valentine

It has been exactly one month since the chocolate candies, red roses, sappy cards, and heart pendants left the storefront windows. A month since every fine dining restaurant in every major city was booked full for dinner, and tables were set with candles and roses. Meals were 6 courses and bottles of champagne and wine were flowing like water. And every man in America felt the need to make the evening special for his woman.

The constant battle of "Valentine's Day-- the romantic holiday" vs. "Valentine's Day-- the Hallmark holiday" is not the subject of this post. Rather, a few years ago, a friend of mine introduced me to a movement that has been considered Valentine's twin brother. The idea is that your man put every effort into making Feb 14 special for you, making reservations at your favorite restaurant, wracking his brain for the perfect gift, and taking you home at night for the most passionate love-making you could imagine. So, it's payback time. It's your turn to put out the effort and show him that you love and appreciate him every ounce as much as he does you.

But what do men want? Not flowers or candies or sappy cards (though neither do I, but that's a whole different story). No, it's no secret what men love. And so the site was created, www.steakandbjday.com to spread the word that men themselves deserve a day of pampering. I think it's pretty self explanatory about what they might want instead of flowers and candy.



I find the whole idea amusing. I don't really buy into the whole Valentine's Day thing, but it sure is nice to get taken out to dinner and to spend the night remembering why you chose to be with the person you are with and how much you both really care. I do love the designated day to be pampered and adored, even though I recognize how commercial it is. This year's Valentine's Day was particularly wonderful for me. He took me to and incredible dinner, which we dragged out for hours, drinking wine and enjoying each other's conversation, while being constantly reminded of how perfect our love is. And with that in mind, I do like the idea of making a day special for him too. Whether it's specifically a steak and a blow job or just cooking his favorite meal and spending time doing the things that he loves to do, I think he deserves the same effort and affection that he gave me just one month ago. I'm pretty sure mine's going to "settle" for a steak and a bj, but I do encourage you to take the time to think about what yours might want, and pick a day to make special for him.

Disclaimer: I know this is very un-PC to make this specifically for a man and woman, it is just so much easier to write that way. The whole idea obviously goes for any two people, or three people, or ten people who want to take a pause from day to day life and remind each other how much they care.

A Room of My Own

My kids wrote a descriptive essay describing their bedrooms. It was interesting--after I finished reading them all, I thought about how most teenagers have a little kind of cool haven where they hunker down to live out the droning lonely complicated time that is high school. It's also a place where you shamelessly put all of your identity onto your wall--or the identity you either think you should have or that you want.

The kids all called this room "theirs" and "the only place I own in the house" even though that's a straight up lie because they're all 14 and jobless. But it's like they need a little safe space to curl up because they're not quite ready to not be a kid and it's like their rooms are outside reality.

It made me think of a few things.

1. When I was a teen, I didn't spend time in my room except to sleep, and I shared it with my sister. I tried putting things up on the walls and on a shelf, but it never looked all that great and it never felt like the stuff reflected my personality very well. I carry these same Feng Shui insecurities into adulthood. Also, I was envious of people with cool rooms--I can remember one friend in middle school just had a shitty little room with a daybed, an old dresser, and two desks, but her room felt like her--a whirlwind of life, busyness, and cool people. And boys. And then there were the people with the artsy rooms. I still envy them. But I do have a nice yellow living room, at least.

2. I'm curious about other couples who live together. What happens when you go from having two rooms to one? My boyfriend and I now share a room that's pretty much a bed, night tables, bookshelf, and a dresser (with paint and pictures). But I have all my clothes in the guest bedroom because I get dressed early in the morning, and he's got his computer and music stuff in this room thing that we call "the office." So we still have our own spaces, in a way. What do other people do?

3. Does this my-room-as-my-little-haven thing go away as we get older? Do we start to deal with life in a way that we don't need to curl up with our band posters and YA series praying that we're not boring but we're not the only ones like us? Maybe homes start becoming more like places to relax than hide or escape.

I still like band posters and YA series, though.

His Jeff Gordon Birthday

Jips had a birthday this month. I got him the above cake. Do you get it? Your Jeff Gordon birthday is when you turn 24, like your Michael Jordan birthday is when you turn 23.

Horton was really awesome. I am excited to hear all about your wedding, booton! Do you have brides maids dresses picked out yet? Could you post a picture of any of the dresses?

I have my first practice for my Oral Exam on Wednesday. My actual date is April 2nd. I have lots to do!!! We got an awesome (pants) suit for me from the limited this weekend. It is dark brown, and I got a teal shirt to go under it. I am totally freaking out about my oral exam, so I need to get to work!

i'm still here!

my life is absolutely crazy these days, but i wanted to post really quickly for a mini-update.

1) i think the recent postings are great! i've been on both sides of the spectrum, and how a relationship evolves absolutely depends on the individuals' personalities and expectations. i also really liked fermi's description of the continuum, it's definitely easier to be friends with someone who is nothing like a person you see yourself with.

2) i went to my first dress fitting (i'm getting married in july) and the lady who will be doing the alterations was so amazed because i said i trusted her judgement. she told me stories about other brides who cried, yelled at her, etc. because she needed to cut the dresses for alterations. i know there is this common trend for women to go crazy, "bridezilla", but it still baffles me. we're having a big wedding, but i don't see the need to yell or obsess over little details. i think it's still possible to have a nice wedding, that represents both of you, without going crazy.

3) i absolutely cannot wait for spring break in 2 weeks...sadly, there will be no beach involved, but i'll be able to really catch up on my work.

i'll have more time to update soon, hopefully. :)

From the Road

Hey everyone. I wanted to make a quick post from the road so you all wouldn't think I had abandoned you. I'm in Sarasota, Florida currently, where we just played a show at the New College. Next stop is Shreveport on Monday. The past week has been a mess of people, music, cats, and a lot of driving.

I think I caught up on everyone's posts since I left. I've definitely been experiencing some interesting gender dynamics on this tour. I've been spending all of my time with the guys in the band and the guys that we're touring with. Not really knowing them very well at all prior to this trip, I can definitely say that they have all exceeded the admittedly low expectations that I hold for the male species. They have all been super respectful and amazing, and I've felt really comfortable spending time with them and building friendships. We are able to build a relationship with one another through playing music, traveling, eating, sleeping, and generally spending a ton of time with each other. The connection seems almost familial. I feel like this sort of platonic relationship is possible and works really well because it has a goal, and that goal doesn't involve sex. We're getting to know each other and developing friendships because it helps us function better as a band/tour buddies. Of course, my sexual preference comes into play in keeping the feelings platonic. It definitely changes the dynamic from my perspective in that I don't consider them as potential mates and therefore don't inject any sexual tension into my end of the equation. Of course, the guys in my band know that I have a girlfriend, but I haven't really talked about my sexual preference with the guys we're touring with. I've felt like I've been treated pretty similarly by both groups of guys. I even had to share a hotel room with the guys we're touring with and one of my bandmates, and the vibe was totally comfortable. It's a good situation and I hope that it stays this way.

In response to Fermi's comment, I totally agree with you about our friendship fostering a sisterly connection between us. In general I draw a pretty strong distinction between friendship feelings and sexual feelings. And I think that it's important to try and respect friendships.

Wow, I am way too tired to continue blogging.

Excited

I can't help but be excited. Tomorrow, Jips and I will be seeing Horton Hears a Who for free. I am really looking forward to it. The animation looks great, and the voices will be spectacular!
That is all.
:)