well I thought about the army... got a job at CFA

Why I still love Chick-fil-a even though they're anti-gay.

Chick-fil-a started in Atlanta, and is a significant part of the Atlanta culture.

Locations of CFAs in ATL:

Gays are also a significant part of the Atlanta culture.

Personally, I think people should be able to partner with whoever they want.  I think non-traditional marriages are necessary.  I even think that if 2 friends want to have a non-sexual but committed relationship, then they, too, should be able to make a legal commitment and get all of the rights and benefits of a traditional marriage partnership.

On top of this, I love Chick-fil-a.  There is a CFA near our apartment, and J and I go there often- at least once a week- but maybe more.  It is run by this older looking (48-55? yo) Indian guy with a comb-over, who is very nice.  There is a younger Indian guy (27 yo?) who might be his son who is also a manager there. These 2 high-school-looking Indian girls work there.  Then there are the black guys.  There is an american black guy who looks about 30, he is a little overweight, has glasses, and is really nice.  Then there is this other one- he looks African-black, and is older- 50ish? he helps us out, too.  They know us at that CFA.  And I love them.

CFA is run well- there are fresh flowers on the tables, and they give you free refills on soft drinks.  They have nutrition facts available, and they just got these new desserts!  The chocolate chip cookie sundae is the BEST!  The dining room is always clean.  People seem happy to work there.  And- they are closed on Sunday.  I bet this is good for business because it creates a yearning in your heart for chicken strips when you drive by on a Sunday and know you cannot have them.  Additionally, it gives their employees a day of rest- which is necessary and forgotten by most of America.

When I meet people for the first time, and the topic of "time not spent working" comes up, the topic of what you do for fun or pleasure, many people say they like to eat out, cook, or something around food.  They like expensive snooty restaurants.  And for me, food is a problem.  I try to not focus on it, and I hate going to restaurants where there is a wait-staff.  But I love CFA.  Why?

I realized that I do like to eat out at certain places, and there are similarities in the places I like to go.

Characteristics of places I like to eat:

1) Order at the front and go sit down.  No wait-staff.

I don't like talking to people trying to earn my money.  I want to just chill with J and eat my food.

2) Diversity of people eating at the place.

I like to go eat because I consider it to be a "show." A reality-life show where people don't know that they are the stars.  I like my CFA, because there are a wide range of customers.  We used to have the gay couples there, and the families with kids, and the old retired couples, and the high school girls, and the college kids.  People can wear interesting outfits to CFA (bright colors, overly-sexy, or Cinderella costumes).  Some restaurants are the Yuppie Restaurants (YR).  Yes, they might have good food, and there are some YR in Atlanta that are order at counter and then chill, but since people-watching is a primary reason for me to enter into society, a low diversity patron group such as All-Yuppies, or All-Atlanta-Blacks makes my dining experience poor and less interesting.

3) Relaxed atmosphere.

Part of this comes from not-being-waited-on.  Another part comes from the fact that I know I probably will not destroy anything in this place unintentionally.  AND- this is major- I can order ANYTHING or NOTHING and it is OK.  I can go at dinner time and just get an ice cream cone.  No problem.

4) Low Staff Turn-Over and Non-White or Diverse Staff.

Finally, I like going somewhere where I can see someone familiar for 5 minutes and then be left alone.  That is about my speed.  So I like seeing the same person at the counter.  I know our meeting will be short and pleasant.  And- since I go to the same places a lot- they remember me, too.  Non-White or Diverse Staff.  I don't even know why I like this, but it might be an indicator of interestingness of the place.

BONUS: ONLY FOR CFA

5) Ben Folds worked there and sang about it in Army.

Is it interesting that the Army and CFA are two anti-gay establishments?

Coming back to the Gay controversy.  Did you know Marriott is run by Mormons?

I am still happy to go to CFA even though the leader's views are different from mine.

Why?

Because I don't care about his opinions.

I don't care how he spends his money.

He runs a great company- a company that distinguishes itself from all other fast food chains.

So he gets money- he earned it honestly, as far as I can tell.

I don't care about what most people believe.

I want to understand what motivates individuals, in general.

But unless they are directly influencing my life because of that belief, than I do not care.

I bet I would feel differently if I was gay- because maybe I would think he was influencing my life. 

But I am not gay.

I think it is OK for people to make their own choices about how to spend their money and about what they want to believe in.  I think it is OK if people think differently from me.

I think this CFA uproar is more about people trying to pick a fight with CFA, than anything else.

Let it go, and find the pleasure in a Saturday morning chicken biscuit.

   

From the Road

Hey everyone. I wanted to make a quick post from the road so you all wouldn't think I had abandoned you. I'm in Sarasota, Florida currently, where we just played a show at the New College. Next stop is Shreveport on Monday. The past week has been a mess of people, music, cats, and a lot of driving.

I think I caught up on everyone's posts since I left. I've definitely been experiencing some interesting gender dynamics on this tour. I've been spending all of my time with the guys in the band and the guys that we're touring with. Not really knowing them very well at all prior to this trip, I can definitely say that they have all exceeded the admittedly low expectations that I hold for the male species. They have all been super respectful and amazing, and I've felt really comfortable spending time with them and building friendships. We are able to build a relationship with one another through playing music, traveling, eating, sleeping, and generally spending a ton of time with each other. The connection seems almost familial. I feel like this sort of platonic relationship is possible and works really well because it has a goal, and that goal doesn't involve sex. We're getting to know each other and developing friendships because it helps us function better as a band/tour buddies. Of course, my sexual preference comes into play in keeping the feelings platonic. It definitely changes the dynamic from my perspective in that I don't consider them as potential mates and therefore don't inject any sexual tension into my end of the equation. Of course, the guys in my band know that I have a girlfriend, but I haven't really talked about my sexual preference with the guys we're touring with. I've felt like I've been treated pretty similarly by both groups of guys. I even had to share a hotel room with the guys we're touring with and one of my bandmates, and the vibe was totally comfortable. It's a good situation and I hope that it stays this way.

In response to Fermi's comment, I totally agree with you about our friendship fostering a sisterly connection between us. In general I draw a pretty strong distinction between friendship feelings and sexual feelings. And I think that it's important to try and respect friendships.

Wow, I am way too tired to continue blogging.

Goodnight, Sleep tight...

Waking up to find unwanted guests in my bed is fortunately not a situation to which I am accustomed. A couple of mornings ago however, I found myself face to face with a nasty stranger enjoying the space on my comforter between me and my girlfriend. Before you start jumping to conclusions, let's rewind a little bit...



A little over three weeks ago, I moved into a new apartment in the Greenpoint neighborhood of Brooklyn. It's a huge one bedroom railroad that I share with my sassy black cat Saffy. I have an office, a music room, a living room, and a HUGE bedroom. I pay a lot for it, but it's kind of perfect, and did I mention that it's only nine houses down from my girlfriend's place? By the way, my girlfriend is allergic to cats. Spending more than fifteen minutes in a room with Miss Saffy is likely to send her into an asthmatic fit. My former living situation involved a roommate who had two cats herself, so hanging out at my apartment was not an option. Luckily my new place is big enough for Saffy to have her own space in the rear two rooms of the apartment, so the majority of the living space is allergen-free. It's been awesome to be able to hang out at my apartment without worrying about a potential trip to the emergency room. Basically, the past three weeks have been really amazing. Ok, back to the other morning...

So, it's Friday morning and my girlfriend wakes up before me. I open my eyes and she's standing next to the bed examining her arm. "I have this weird welt on my arm." I say "huh" and she gets back into bed and shows it to me. Then, our guest makes itself known. I look down on the comforter and there he is. Mr. Bed Bug.



OK, those of you not living in Brooklyn or the third world probably aren't familiar with bed bugs. Until I moved to the city, all that I knew about them was that my mom encountered them in a dank motel in Moscow in the '70's. I started hearing about them shortly after I moved to Brooklyn. Horror stories, told mostly second-hand about infestations in cheap housing in parts of Brooklyn. "Don't move into the McKibben dorms. DO NOT MOVE THERE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD." I learned that bed bugs basically ruin your life. That they can pop-up anywhere, even expensive luxury housing in Manhattan. That they are near impossible to get rid of. That you have to throw away all of your furniture and clothing. That they can hitch rides on your shoelaces and proliferate wherever you travel with them. So yeah, you can imagine my horror when I find this beady blood-engorged beast in my perfect cozy little bed. My girlfriend was surprisingly calm and tried reassuring me by saying that it was only one bed bug and maybe it was just a rogue that escaped extermination and since we killed it everything would be okay. I called my landlord's office and told them that I found what appeared to be a bed bug in my bed and that I had it in a bottle and would very much appreciate a visit from the bug killer people ASAP. He was totally as thrilled as I was about the situation and sent someone out that afternoon to collect "the sample" to take to the exterminator. I managed to make it through the day at work without letting it completely takeover my thoughts. Oh my god, am I still blogging? This is getting long. FAST FORWARD --->>>

Saturday morning I find a letter slipped underneath my door addressed in pink ink to "Our New Neighbors in Apt. 5". I immediately thought, "Oh shit, my new neighbors are pissed that I'm playing guitar in the apartment and they're writing me some passive-agressive letter in stupid pink ink and slipping under the door to make me feel like an asshole." I was wrong, but the actual content of the letter was much worse. To summarize, this is what I took away from the letter:

DEAR NEW NEIGHBOR,

WE LIVE ACROSS THE HALL FROM YOU. APPARENTLY WE HAVE BED BUGS. THEY ARE EATING OUR FLESH. WE HEAR YOU MIGHT HAVE THEM TOO? THAT SUCKS. COME TALK?*

Don't cry for me yet. The exterminator is coming tomorrow morning. To date, I've only been visited by that one initial little guest, so I'm optimistic. Send me good thoughts please.





*I may or may not have completely made up these sentences, but you get the gist.